Say something to the effect of “We’re sister/brothers. We shouldn’t be fighting like cats and dogs. Let’s take a moment to talk about this. You go first. ” Being willing to let the other person talk first can go a long way of showing that you want to resolve the problem. If the issue isn’t that big of a deal, however, let it slide without a big fuss. Siblings have little spats between them. It doesn’t mean you don’t love and care for one another.
Go somewhere by yourself for a short time to gather your thoughts and calm down. It can even help to leave your house or wherever you are and visit a friend.
Choose a time and place to talk when you have both cooled off. Think about how much you’re willing to bend to compromise. Be truthful in sharing your thoughts and opinions (without being offensive) and be willing to listen to the other person’s side of things. Once the two of you make an agreement, uphold your end of the bargain. It may also be a good idea to check in with your brother or sister regularly to see if they are satisfied with the progress you two are making.
Apologize for what you’ve done to hurt your sibling. Say, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” or “I didn’t realize that not coming to your birthday would upset you, but I’m sorry that I missed your special night. "
If you feel that your issues with your sibling will interfere with your enjoyment of the event, schedule a time to talk to them about the issue so that you know that your grievances will be aired, even if it’s at a later date. Write down what you want to discuss so that it isn’t on your mind during the celebration. Remind yourself of the good memories that you are creating for yourself and your family. You don’t want to look back on this event with negative feelings.
Inhale through your nose for 4 counts. Hold it for 7 counts. Then, exhale the air through your mouth for 8 counts. Repeat this technique until you start to feel calm again. [5] X Research source
Try this: “I feel mistrusted when you follow me in the car. I try my best to follow the rules, but it doesn’t help if you don’t try to trust me. ” Or, “I’m feeling really pressured about having to go to your alma mater for college. Can I have more time to think this over?”
Put away any distractions, such as turning off phones or TVs Turn to face your parent(s) and make occasional eye contact Reflect open body language by uncrossing your arms and legs and leaning toward the speaker Wait until the speaker is done before replying Make clarifications by asking questions to ensure that you got the correct message
Arguments may arise due to someone’s poor treatment of a family member, because of a longstanding unresolved issue, or due to other family dynamics. Because you learn how to handle stress and conflict from your family, unhealthy behaviors can persist through generations. You all must work together to overcome conflicts and to change poor coping strategies. If your family has issues with mental illness, substance abuse, or other chronic issues, consider entering therapy to discuss how you can make changes for yourself. If your family members are willing, consider going to therapy together.
Talking to someone who is not involved in an argument can help you vent your frustrations. However, another advantage of confiding in a friend is the ability to get some perspective. That person may be able to spot when you are being unreasonable and advise you on how to make amends when you have taken an argument to far. [8] X Research source
Do something that relaxes and soothes you. This can include going for a run, taking a warm bubble bath, playing with your dog, watching a movie with friends, or getting a mani-pedi.
Family therapy is usually done over a brief period of time and focuses on helping your family communicate better. It can also help identify and resolve disruptions to your family cohesiveness.
