You can talk about a class you share. Try saying something like, “How’d you do on the test in math?” If you notice they have a phone case or t-shirt or talk about your favorite band, say, “I really like them too. Did you know they’re coming to town next week?”
If you’re messaging a guy for the first time online, say hi and remind them how they know you. Say something like, “Hi, we have math class together. Have you studied for the test yet?” You can also bring up a common interest by saying something like, “Did I see you at the new comic book movie this weekend?” If you’re having a get together or party, inviting the guy online is a great first move. Say something like, “Hey, I’m having people over this weekend for a back to school party, and it would be great if you could come. "
Don’t ask random questions. Going up to someone and saying, “What’s your favorite color?” is not likely to get much of a response. Instead, ask questions about a class or shared interest, so it makes sense for you to ask and for him to answer. Listen when they respond. It’s easier to come up with additional questions or insightful responses, if you’re actually paying attention to what they say to you. Plus, no one likes to feel ignored, especially by someone who asked him a question to begin with.
If it’s your first meeting with the club, say something like, “I just joined this club. How long have you been involved?” You can ask a guy something like, “What go you interested in French club?” If you have an upcoming even with the club, you can ask, “Are you going to the service project this weekend?”
Instead of thinking negatively, remind yourself, “It’s okay to say the wrong thing,” or “I don’t need to impress anyone. " When you’re thinking of how to do better next time, practice what to say in the mirror, or role play with friends.
Doing or saying the wrong thing is a great learning experience. Most people learn more from the things they get wrong than those they get right. Look at “failure” when talking to guys as a chance to learn how to do better next time. Remember, it’s okay to say or do the wrong thing. If you accidentally offend a guy you’re talking to, say something like, “I’m so sorry. I get nervous and say the wrong thing sometimes. ” Most people will completely understand this. You might have heard the saying, “If you fall off the horse, you should get right back on. ” This is very apt, when it comes to building confidence. If you say the wrong thing and the guy doesn’t want to talk to you, that’s okay. Try again some other time. [5] X Research source
Ask your friends to introduce you to guys they know. This will make getting to know them easier because you have a mutual friend and there’s someone else there to talk with. Ask you friends to be your “wingmen. ” If you’re talking to a guy and you’re getting nervous, have a friend close by who can step in and help. Have your friends role-play possible conversations with you. It may seem silly, but practicing a conversation can help you feel better about the real thing.
Ask your family member, “I’m having trouble talking to guys. I always feel shy or like I’ll say the wrong thing. What can I do?” You can ask something like, “Did you ever have issues talking to guys?”
Shyness can be a sign of a bigger health concern like social anxiety, and counseling is a great way to overcome this. If you’re in school, start by speaking with your guidance counselor. They are a great resource to help you find someone to talk to. You can also search for local counselors online or ask your physician for a recommendation of counselors in your area. [10] X Research source
