Try coming up with an opening line to get the conversation started. For instance, you could say something like, “I just want you to know that I hate it when we fight like this. ” Write down what you want to say to your best friend if you need to so you can organize your thoughts. Practice saying what you want to say to them in a mirror so you can see how you look and sound.
A public location where you can find your own space, such as a coffee shop or a mall can be a great neutral space for you to talk. You could also choose a place that the two of you share happy memories, such as a restaurant you both like or a park where you’ve spent time together, to help keep the conversation positive.
For instance, you could start with something like irreverent to start the conversation like, “So what brings you here?” or “Well, this is awkward. ”
Try saying something like, “I feel sick knowing that you and I are fighting and I can’t come and talk to you about what’s bothering me. I want to fix this. ” Even if the fight was caused by something you said or did, you still need to tell your friend how you feel about fighting with them so they know that you do care about them. Avoid making it all about yourself. Fights between best friends go both ways, and your friend’s feelings are probably hurt, too.
Try to see things from their perspective. You’re not the only one who is upset about the fight! You may not have all of the information about what caused the fight, so listen to your best friend when they tell you about it.
Give them something that shows them how important they are to you, like a memento that you’ve kept from them because you love them. Show them that you aren’t afraid to put yourself out there and tell them them something like, “Look, you’re my best friend. I love you! I don’t want it to be like this ever again. ”
For instance, you could ask a mutual friend to help you and your best friend talk things through. If you’re having a dispute with your best friend, and you both play on a team or work together, it can be helpful to have a coach, teammate, or coworker mediate. Use someone that you both relate to well so each party feels like they’re being heard and their complaints are valid.
Try saying it directly. Say something along the lines of, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Can you please forgive me?” Refusing to apologize will show them that you don’t care and may hurt them even more. Be sincere when you apologize so they know that you mean it.
Try to avoid triggers that start the fight back up. For instance, if you and your friend got into a fight because you accidentally broke something important to them, try not to bring it up. Making fun of your friend’s feelings will show them that you don’t care about how they feel and will make them upset.
Look through old photographs of you and your best friend to remind yourself of why you love them.
Spending time with other friends can help remind you of how much you treasure your friendship with your best friend. Use the opportunity to spend more time with your family as well. However do not spend huge amounts of time with other people. This might make your best friend feel excluded and insecure. Make sure that you are not hurting her.
You can easily move conversations with other people away from your fight with your best friend by saying something along the lines of, “I don’t want to talk about it right now. ” Even if the fight was caused by your best friend, they may feel really sorry about it, so don’t mock or ridicule them to other people. Don’t discuss your fight with nosy people. It can only cause trouble.
Go for a nice run or just take a walk around the area to get your body moving. Take a bike ride in a scenic location such as around a lake or through a park.
If you feel the friendship was toxic, it may be healthier for you to part ways with your best friend.
