Request a small favor, like: “Hey, could you show me your laptop? I’m looking for a new one,” or “What just happened onscreen? I looked away for one second and missed it. ” Ask her about something relevant. For example: “What did you think of that band that just played?” or “I like those patches on your bag. Where’d you get them?” Make a simple comment about whatever, like: “I don’t know about you, but I think I’m freezing in here,” or “That had to be the most ridiculous fight I’ve ever seen. ”
Making eye contact and facing her. Don’t look at your phone or glance around the room when she is talking. Nodding and making neutral statements, such as “yes,” “uh-huh,” “I see,” and “go on. ” Asking probing questions to keep her talking and show interest, such as “What happened next?” “How did you feel?” and “What are you going to do now?” Clarifying what she says when necessary, such as by saying, “It seems like you are saying ____. Is that right?” Or, “What do you mean when you say ____?”
When she tells a story, ask her what happened next. Or, back up and ask for a little more backstory to this or that plot point. When she shares an opinion, ask her what led her to form that opinion. Share your own stories and opinions, but be sure to tie them back to what she last said. For example, if she was talking about how she’s scared of the ocean, don’t brag about that time you successfully fought off a great white shark! Instead, use that story to show that you understand her fright.
Don’t fake interest in stuff that you couldn’t care less about. For instance, don’t pretend to love football just because you’re at a Super Bowl party. If you aren’t ready to share this or that part of yourself just yet, leave it unmentioned. For example, if you feel embarrassed about writing poetry, don’t tell her that you think poetry is stupid.
You can also try to relate the conversation back to her from time to time. For example, you might say something like, “Hey Ted, did you know that Karen is into that new video game you got too? She’s already on level 5!”
Look her in the eye when she is speaking to show her that she has your attention. When it’s your turn to speak, shift your gaze to something else. Gather your thoughts before you respond. When you’re ready to speak, look her in the eye again. By doing this she will feel that you are drawn back to her face again and again. This is much more flattering than being stared at.
If you’re in a crowded space, lean into her when people brush by, then joke about it: “Dang, I’m starting to wish I brought my mints!” Touch her elbow, hand, or shoulder whenever something new occurs to you: “Oh! Hey! I forgot to tell you . . . ” Nudge her sides or her elbow with your own to underscore a point or tease her: “I bet that one shot of Ewan McGregor’s butt was your favorite part of the movie, eh?”
When she’s upset, draw her into a one-armed hug around her shoulders. Give her a polite peck on the top of her head. If you haven’t seen each other in a while, throw your arms open for a hug. Greet her with, “There she is!” Or, just put on an act as if you haven’t seen each other in forever and do the same thing, even if it’s only been ten minutes. If she has made a point of dressing up (or even if she hasn’t), take her hand. Bow, give her a gentlemanly kiss on the top of her hand, and tell her how smashing she looks. Quit saying goodbye at night’s end and just give her a hug instead.
Also take note of how often she messages you. Stick to the same level of frequency. Text, call, or email her at random to show her that she is on your mind. [24] X Research source But don’t do it so much that you come across as obsessed or needy.
Don’t badger her by following up with a second call or message just to see if she got your first one. If she never gets back to you before you bump into each other again, let it go unmentioned. Remember, calling her out on not calling you back will only hurt your chances in the end.
