In the case of indirect peer pressure, you might not find yourself in a situation where you have to say no. However, you’ll still have to develop a strategy of self-control to stick to your principles and habits and do only what you’re comfortable with.
Being prepared will allow you to face these situations more open-mindedly. It’s okay to hang out with people who have different habits from yours. Knowing what to expect will help you respect their decisions as well as stand by yours.
Environments where you’ll feel uncomfortable or out of place Parties or clubs where most people will be drinking and smoking Private meetings with someone you don’t want to have sex with
For example, show your friends you feel confident about your lifestyle and personal tastes. Don’t mimic what they do, but stick to what you like and pursue it. Be proactive in suggesting activities and taking care of their organization. If you come up with fun ideas, others will look for you when they want to have a good time and follow your lead, rather than the opposite. Keep in mind that being a leader is not the same as being patronizing toward your friends: to lead means to guide, not to act bossy or aloof.
Remember that real friends won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to do as a way to prove your courage or friendship. If someone expects this from you or makes fun of your choices, it’s probably not worth hanging out with.
This is the best course of action when you’re offered something you don’t want to, like a drink, a cigarette or even drugs. [5] X Research source Try not to sound rude. If your friend is simply suggesting you do something you don’t want to, as bad as it may seem, being polite will make it easier to move on and change the subject. Just add a “thanks” after your “no” and smile.
For example, if someone asks you to go to a party where drugs are involved, you can say “I’m not going, sorry, I know there’ll be drugs and I don’t want to find myself in that situation," or “I’m not going, sorry, I don’t like the people who’ll be there. " You can also make up an excuse if providing the real explanation can make things awkward: “I’m not going, sorry, I already have plans for tonight. " Do your best to make your statement as positive as possible. Try not to sound condescending or judgmental. You might not agree with someone’s actions or habits but respecting their decisions will make them respect yours. [7] X Research source
A good way to do this is by exaggerating the consequences of the action. If you’re offered a drug, possible jokes can be “No thanks, you don’t want to see me naked jumping around the room!” Another option is to give a sarcastic explanation. If you’re offered a cigarette, you can say “No thanks, I’ve had five cigars already," or “No thanks, I’d rather smoke my pipe. "
For example, if someone offers you a cigarette, you can say “No, thanks. Did I tell what happened today?” or “No thanks, what are you doing tonight?” By starting a brand new conversation that doesn’t involve cigarettes, both your friend’s smoking and your choice not to smoke won’t look like a big deal.
Possible suggestions could be “Why don’t we go to the movies instead?" “I’d rather go shopping," or “I think we’d better focus on our finals. " Whatever you suggest, make sure to be specific. Avoid generic statements like “Let’s do something different”; suggesting an alternative that your friend might actually like better will make it easier and faster to get past the situation.
For example: “No thanks, I told you I don’t drink. " Even in this case, rudeness is not the best way to go. However, make the tone of your voice firm and look at your friend straight in the eye to make your message clearer.
For example, “I already told you I don’t want to smoke. I don’t like to be pushed to do something I don’t want to. " Once you’ve done it, you can try discussing peer pressure at large if you’re close enough with your interlocutor. It’s always a good idea to discuss with your friends what your friendship is based on, especially in critical situations when the friendship itself could be in danger.
For example, you can speak in the plural if you’re sure your friend will back you up: “No thanks, we don’t smoke. " You can also address your back-up directly to change the subject, after saying “No, thanks” to the pressurer: “No, thanks, Mike, I don’t want to smoke pot. Why don’t we go to the movies instead? What do you think, Steve?”
For example, if your sporty friend offers you a cigarette, you can answer ”I don’t smoke, and you shouldn’t either. It’s really bad for your stamina. " If a friend mocks you for not having had sex yet, you can say “You can do anything you want with your life. Are you taking any birth control or STD precautions, though?”
It’s always a good idea to still provide a little explanation before you walk away. Don’t be confrontational, but make it clear that you’re leaving to avoid being pressured: “I think I should go now, I don’t like to be pressured. ” It could be good to point out that leaving is not so much your decision as the only alternative you have left: “That’s enough, I’m leaving. I’m sorry but you’re leaving me no other option. ” This way, you’ll make the one who is putting pressure on you aware that your walking away is a result of their rudeness, not yours.
