Try something like, “Hey! How have you been lately?” or “I saw on Insta that you went to that new coffee shop. How was it?” If it’s been a really long time, try something like, “Hey! I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. I really miss all the good times we had. I really wish we could be that close again. ” If you had a fight with your friend, send a longer message via email. It’ll give your friend time to think about what you have to say and decide if they want to write back.
For instance, let’s say you asked your friend what they’ve been up to lately. They might reply with, “I’ve been filling out applications and finishing up my summer reading. Hbu?” You could reply, “I’ve been running a lot. Did you read any good books this summer?” If you had a fight, ask your friend to meet up in person to talk, if possible. If not, chat over the phone or in a video call. [3] X Research source You could text, “Do you want to chat tomorrow at the park?” or “Can we do a video chat?”
You might say, “I know I hurt your feelings. I’m really sorry, and I promise to be a better friend. ” If you don’t know what you did wrong, ask about it at the beginning of your talk. You could say, “I feel really bad about hurting your feelings, but I’m not sure what exactly I did wrong. Please tell me so I can fix things. "
Hopefully, your friend will respond right away. Just in case they don’t, plan some fun distractions for yourself while you wait. You might hang out with another friend, play a game, take your dog for a walk, or read a book. If you’ve drifted apart, it’s possible your friend’s life has just changed a lot. They might be busy with responsibilities that they have to prioritize, like school work, a job, or household chores. Try not to take their silence personally because it might not be about you.
For instance, you might miss watching movies with your friend every Friday night or swapping memes all day on social media. Hopefully, you’ll be able to do that again soon, but it might take time to get to that point. When you first start reconnecting, stick to activities you’d do with a new friend, like playing a game or getting coffee together. You’ll probably reconnect a lot faster if it hasn’t been very long since your friendship faded. However, try to take things slow at first so you and your friend don’t feel overwhelmed.
You might ask questions like, “Have you done anything exciting since we last spoke?” “What’s going on in your life these days?” or “Are you still drawing your comic books?”
For instance, you might send your friend a photo of you together at a sports event, of you two hanging out at your house, or of you two engaging in a shared interest. You might text a memory by saying, “Remember when we dropped water balloons off the stairs? That was a total mess!” or “Remember when we sang karaoke last year? I still think we were the best duet that night!”
Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling so you can get support. You could say, “I lost a good friend today, and I’m really sad about it. We had a lot of fun together, and I can’t believe our friendship is over. ” Take extra special care of yourself! Losing a friend hurts a lot, so reach out to other friends or family members who can support you.
For example, you might make plans to get coffee, watch a movie, walk around the park, play mini golf, try a new restaurant, make a craft, attend a book club, take a class, go to a paint and sip, or play board games. It’s not enough to just say, “Let’s hang out soon. ” Plan your hangout right now so you don’t forget.
Facetime, WhatsApp, Skype, Zoom, and Microsoft Teams are all great platforms for video calling. [13] X Research source Keep it simple by having a drink or dessert together over video chat. If you want to do an activity, watch a movie, play a video game, or draw together over video chat. Alternatively, get moving by going on a scavenger hunt over video chat.
Text them things like, “How was school today?” “How’d your presentation go?” or “When’s your next game?” If you normally exchange presents on special occasions, take time to pick out or make something special for them so they can tell you really thought about your gift.
Create a habit of making new plans after each activity you do with your friend so you always have something coming up. Don’t worry if you and your friend can’t see each other in-person very often. You can still have a strong friendship virtually! Just remember to text them often and schedule regular video calls.
