Trans women usually have “she/her” pronouns. Trans men usually have “he/him” pronouns. Nonbinary, genderfluid, or agender people use various pronouns, such as “they/them,” “ze/zim,” and others. “Sex” usually refers to a person’s biology, while gender refers to their identity. Some people use multiple pronouns, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that any pronoun is okay. For instance, someone might use “she” and “they,” but not “he. "

Don’t ask what their former name was if you don’t know. Many trans people refer to their previous name as a “deadname:” a name that is dead and no longer relevant to their life. When telling stories about someone in the past, use their current name and pronouns, or none at all.

Try using neutral language when addressing a crowd. Instead of saying “Ladies and Gentlemen”, try “Distinguished Guests”, or “Ladies, Gentlemen and others”. That being said, don’t go out of your way to assert their gender. Avoid using more gendered language than you normally would. There’s no need to tell your transmasculine coworker that he looks “handsome” every single day, or always refer to your transfeminine friend as “girl!” This can sound condescending. If you are referring to a person who goes by “they,” avoid gendered language altogether.

You might say, “I’m sorry, ‘he. ’ I apologize. " If you miss the chance to apologize in the moment, find a private moment later to say that you are sorry. You might say, “I just wanted to apologize for using the wrong name for you earlier. There’s no excuse: it won’t happen again. "

Avoid making references to their transition in public. Don’t tell other people that they are transgender.

Most transgender people don’t want you to ask if they have had (or plan to have) gender-affirming surgery.

Try not to comment on how successful they are at “passing” as their gender. Don’t say, “I would never have known you were transgender,” for instance. If you imply that someone is successful if they don’t appear transgender, you’re implying that there’s something wrong with being transgender. Avoid giving unsolicited advice. For instance, you should never tell someone they would “pass better” if they dressed differently or took hormones. While it seems like a compliment, many transgender people don’t want you to call them “brave” for being themselves. For example, think about having a sibling with a developmental disability. You likely wouldn’t want to be called brave for simply being their sibling. It’s just a part of your reality and your identity.

Don’t make unnecessary references to their transition. If they want to talk about it, they’ll bring it up. Find common ground, such as hobbies, places you’ve lived, or shared interests, and talk about those things with them.

Transgender people are at an outsize risk of physical violence from others. [8] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Due to physical attacks and familial rejection, transgender people experience high rates of suicide attempts. [9] X Research source Recognize that being cisgender means that you avoid a lot of issues that transgender people have no choice but to face.

You might say, “I don’t appreciate you calling my friend a “tr*nny. " You don’t know what her life is. You should check yourself before you start putting down people based on their gender. "

Transgender youth experience high rates of homelessness due to familial abandonment or hostility. Consider donating to a shelter for LGBTQ youth. Advocate for better treatment of transgender prisoners, who are sometimes placed in the wrong facility based on their assigned sex. Support affordable healthcare for gender-affirming surgery, hormones, trans-friendly gynecology, and other treatments essential to the wellbeing of some transgender people. [11] X Research source