A preoccupation with other responsibilities or life events. Emotional rifts in your relationship. Health crises A natural decline due to age.
Make evening meals a chance to discuss what you want for your future. Try turning off the TV and lighting some candles instead. Choose one night a week to designate as date night with your partner. [3] X Research source Write love letters to each other and read them before bed.
Face each other and make eye contact when you are talking or while silent. Be silly and share laughter together. Ask each other deeper questions about hopes, dreams, and memories. For example, “What is your most treasured memory?” or “What are your dreams for your life?”
Talk about the best sex you’ve had together. Recall what you liked about it. Tell your partner. Talk about any fantasies you have or something you’ve always wanted to try. Talk about turn-ons and turn-offs. Try starting the conversation with, “We haven’t talked about this in a while, and I’m curious. What turns you on? Is there anything that’s a big turn off?” If you are nervous, try taking turns listing your turn-ons and turn-offs with your partner. If you are struggling to determine what turns you on now, try and reconnect with some turn-ons from earlier in your relationship and see if they still work. [7] X Research source If you or your partner are still not sure, have a night where you both focus on just one partner and find out what your turn-ons are. [8] X Research source
Hug each other for longer than usual. Hold hands. Give your partner a neck massage. Playfully brush against them or whisper in their ear.
Go to a nearby romantic cabin for a weekend. Take a short road trip without hotel reservations. Plan a quick getaway to the closest beach or island.
Buy new lingerie that makes you feel attractive and pampered. Surprise your partner by being skimpily dressed or naked when they return from work or get out the shower. If you are used to wearing more baggy clothes, try something a little more form-fitting so your partner can enjoy getting to see your shape.
Have soft, warm, and low light by dimming lamps or using candles. Play slow, romantic, or sexy music to set the mood. Stimulate the sense with scented candles, perfume, or room scents.
Shower together and apply soap or shampoo for each other. If you are feeling bold, have sex in the shower together. Exercise together. Exercise is beneficial not only to your health, but will also increase blood flow and flexibility in both you and your partner. [15] X Research source Get competitive with an activity like tennis, rock climbing, or even with games at an arcade. [16] X Research source
Start by talking to your partner over the phone about routine activities, while he/she is at work or away from home. Do this in small bits through the course of the day. Occasionally, add in some hints about how you are dressed at the moment or what thought just crossed your mind about your partner. Have longer conversations about fantasies that you have with your partner. Read erotica out loud together.
Bring their favorite dessert and feed it to them. Try strawberries, cream, and champagne for a pampered luxurious vibe. Purchase and use edible body paint.
Pretend to be a masseuse and client. Act like you do not know each other and are meeting for the first time for your client’s massage appointment. Try being a magician’s assistant. It might involve blindfolds, handcuffs, or scarves. Discover power play. Start with little playful fights while in bed, ending in you overpowering your partner or vice versa. If you are comfortable, try giving one partner total control. Agree on sessions where, during an agreed upon amount of time, you or your partner gets to be “spoiled,” or ask for whatever they want, within both of your comfort zones. [20] X Research source
