For instance, perhaps your boss rolls his eyes while you are apologizing for missing a deadline. Instead of furrowing your brows or rolling your eyes too, avoid over-the-top facial expressions, and continue with your sincere apology. Before delivering the apology, practice some self-soothing techniques so that you can be at peace. Consider meditating beforehand or saying a quick prayer.
For instance, if your friend refuses your apology, you can practice deep breathing so that you don’t react negatively to them. No need to breathe loudly as this can be perceived as aggressive. Make your breaths slow and steady.
Avoid making comments like “Well, I didn’t care if you accepted my apology, anyway” or “You were never a good friend to me. ” Now is not the time for bickering. Try to accept the other person’s response, even if it is not the one you want to hear.
For instance, if you knock someone’s ice cream from their hand and say “sorry,” this might not be accepted. However, if you buy them a new ice cream, the issue can be quickly resolved.
Perhaps you accidentally made an error on a project and your coworker is upset. However, if earlier in the day, your boss yelled at them, this could be at the core of their bad mood. Remember, sometimes the other person might have had bad experiences in the past that hurt them. That could be a factor in why they don’t accept your apology, even if what you did seems minor to you. [4] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020. Reconnect with them at a later time when they are in a better mood. There could be a number of reasons that they are not accepting your apology. Try not to take it personally, and come back later when things have cooled down.
Say something like “Hey, why don’t we both take a few minutes and then reconnect later? I would really like to continue talking but want to clear my head for a bit. ”
Say something like “Gia, I apologize for yelling at you the other day. I was angry and that is no excuse. I should never have raised my voice at you; I was completely out of line. ”
Say “Was there anything else that I did that bothered you? If so, I’d like for us to talk about it. ”
For instance, you might say “So, it sounds like you’re saying that I really bothered you when I cut you off in the meeting the other day because it made you feel unimportant. I’m sorry for that and I want you to know that I value all of your contributions to our team. ”
You might say something like “I am truly sorry for what I said to you, Brian. Sometimes, though, you try to one-up me. Or you brag about how much money you have when you know I’m going through a tough time, so that makes me feel like you’re trying to make me jealous. ” Use “I” statements to describe how you feel. For example, “I feel like sometimes I am not heard,” is less combative than, “You never listen to me. "
Try saying something like, “I know you’re still upset with me. I just want you to know that when you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen, and I apologize again. “[13] X Expert Source Lena Dicken, Psy. DClinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 15 December 2020.
