Also, the brain perceives the smiles of other people as a reward. In other words, when you smile at someone, their brain processes that as a reward. If you want to encourage someone who’s flirting with you, a smile is a good place to start. [3] X Research source
One way to encourage him to start talking is to ask him his opinion about something. For instance, ask what he thinks of the restaurant, what he’s eating, or even a question about the team playing on television behind you. Make questions open-ended. Asking a simple yes-or-no question will get you a simple yes-or-no answer. An open ended question requires more than a simple yes or no to answer it. For instance, asking “Do you like the wine?” is a yes-or-no question. Asking “What do you like about that wine?” requires that he provide a deeper answer.
Keep it honest. Try to look for something you can sincerely compliment him on, and make it specific. For example, “You’re handsome,” is pretty general. “Your smile lights up the room,” is much more specific. Don’t stick to just good looks. Complimenting his brain can be just as flirtatious. [6] X Expert Source Laura BilottaDating Coach & Matchmaker Expert Interview. 7 July 2020. For example, you could say, “What an insightful comment. You seem like a really smart guy. "
Try digging a little deeper. Ask about what interests him. See if he has any interesting hobbies or if he has pets. Ask about his job or what he likes to do outside of work. Use anything to keep the conversation going. [7] X Research source
For instance, you don’t want to use closed-off body language, such as crossing your arms or legs and turning your body away from the person. Leaning in, touching the other person, adopting open body language, and smiling are all ways of encouraging interest.
Include other people in the conversation whenever possible. If he tries to talk only to you, ask someone else’s opinion, bringing them into the conversation. Don’t accept free items from him that he isn’t giving everyone else. For instance, if he offers to buy you a drink, say you need to stop anyway.
In addition, don’t smile at him, as that will encourage more flirting. You don’t need to scowl at him, but make sure you aren’t giggling and laughing at him, as he’ll take that as you flirting back.
Try saying something like, “Thanks so much for asking me out, but I think it’s only fair to say I’m not interested in you that way. ” Keep it short and too the point. Don’t give an elaborate explanation, and don’t leave any loopholes. Saying things like, “I already have plans tonight,” or “I was just leaving,” only give him the impression that you might have been interested otherwise, and maybe he should try again another time.
Say you already have a boyfriend. You can only use this one if it isn’t someone close to you who will find out you are lying. You can also say you aren’t looking for a relationship right now. Again, this fib can only be used if you aren’t close to the guy and he can’t easily find out you lied. You should also make sure you don’t leave wiggle room or suggest that you might be interested in the near future.
If he won’t stop monopolizing the conversation, say, “It was great talking with you, but I really need to catch up with my friend. ” Then leave and go to your friend. If possible, let your friend know what is going on so they won’t unknowingly leave you in a bad spot by leaving without you or slipping off to the bathroom at an inopportune time.
Give a brief outline of what has been going on. Say something like, “You’ve been asking me on dates and saying suggestive things, and I’ve done my best to not encourage that. I told you I’m not interested in any relationship right now, but you keep trying to get me alone. Please stop. I’m not interested. ” Tell him in a public place. If he’s not taking “no” for an answer and you want him to stop, don’t allow yourself to be anywhere alone with him. You definitely want to think of safety first.
Don’t take this step lightly. Read the situation and decide whether or not you’ve already made yourself clear in other ways and whether or not you are in danger. Be prepared for the fact that he might play innocent or call you crazy.
It’s important to put your safety first. If the guy is getting hostile or you think he might hurt you, it’s important to get out of there and involve other people.