This issue typically occurs when the guy in question flirts with you and several other girls. It can be hard to know if he genuinely likes you, or if he’s flirting indiscriminately. To figure out if he might like you more than the other girls he flirts with, ask yourself if there’s a difference between his flirtation with you and his flirtation with others. For instance, when you see him in the hallway, pay attention to where his eyes are. If he immediately locks eyes with you, that’s probably a good sign. On the other hand, if he’s looking at another girl and barely acknowledges you (or doesn’t acknowledge you at all), that’s probably a bad sign. [1] X Research source Try not to assume that a guy who talks endlessly about his girlfriend in front of you is doing so to make you jealous. It’s possible that he’s genuinely head-over-heels for her and just trying to let you know. [2] X Research source Even if he’s honestly using his girlfriend to make you jealous and spur romantic feelings in you, the disloyalty and disrespect this behavior demonstrates should be a warning sign telling you to stay away from a potentially toxic mate.
This step is easier said than done, of course, and you do face the risk of rejection by following through and telling your crush you want to date him. Even so, clearing the air is the only way to fix the issue before it gets worse. Wait until the next time you two find yourselves flirting in a private, one-on-one setting, then let him know you’re interested in something more. Wait for his response before determining how to approach the topic of jealousy.
If your crush is interested in dating you, let him know in a casual, joking manner that he needs to save his flirting for you. Try to avoid making him feel guilty, but make it clear that you don’t want him flirting with other girls. If your crush is lukewarm or rejects the idea of dating you, politely ask him to tone down the flirting he does with you. Dealing with regular flirtation from a guy who won’t commit will only play with your emotions; it isn’t healthy for either of you to continue like that.
Starting a relationship with a guy who can’t stop flirting will likely lead to continued frustration and insecurity, which will damage the relationship in the long run. Continuing a friendship with a one-sided crush is always difficult, but if he’s continuing to lead you on when he should know better, the best thing you can do for yourself is move on.
It’s possible that your boyfriend isn’t actually trying to make you jealous, and simply isn’t aware of the fact that his interactions with another girl are causing you to feel jealous. Letting him know can help limit the behavior in the future. [4] X Research source Even if he meant to make you jealous, it’s possible that he has his own insecurities with the relationship. Opening the topic up to discussion can give you both the chance to talk things over while also giving him the chance to reassure you about his feelings. [5] X Research source
Talk about your feelings using “I” statements (i. e. “I feel. . . “) instead of placing blame (i. e. “You make me feel. . . “). If the misunderstanding is genuine, staying calm with help you work things out more completely and with as little conflict as possible. If your boyfriend is intentionally trying to push your buttons, however, exploding at him will only give him the reaction he wants. Instead of responding the way he expects, keep your cool and be the mature one when you talk things out. If his behavior continues even after you bring the issue to his attention, he might have some toxic control issues, and it might be in your best interest to break things off. [6] X Research source
His attempts at making you jealous might be his way of trying to capture your attention. By “reminding” you that he’s a catch, he’s trying to win more of your affection. Try to reconnect with your boyfriend to give him the reassurance he needs. Compliment him. Be appreciative when he does good things for you. Cuddle, kiss, and be intentional about giving him signs of physical affection as you feel comfortable with. [8] X Research source
Show compassion to yourself. Admit it when you fall victim to jealous, and assure yourself that it’s a natural feeling you don’t need to be ashamed of. Only by accepting the feeling at face value can you learn to overcome it. Take time to focus on your own interests independent of the relationship. Developing yourself as an individual can make it easier to see what you bring to the relationship, which can make it easier to accept that your boyfriend loves you. [10] X Research source
In addition to not replying to him directly, you also need to resist the temptation to post that vague, passive-aggressive status update on Facebook or Twitter, and avoid complaining to mutual friends who might let him know. Stay persistent. It’s possible that he may put more effort into making you jealous initially, but if you’re consistent, he should eventually get the message that it won’t work.
He might temporarily feel pleased upon realizing that he succeeded in making you upset, but now that he’s unable to continue the behavior, he’ll have no choice but to stop it.
Furthermore, flaunting around a new boyfriend you genuinely like can damage the new relationship, too. Using your boyfriend to get back at your ex keeps your focus on the old relationship–and adding fuel to the fires of jealousy will mean keeping the war between you and your ex alive indefinitely. You’ll be much better off cutting ties with your ex and focusing on your attentions solely on your new sweetheart.
