For example, if your child masters a new game, like throwing and catching a ball, and you see them smiling and laughing, you can say something like “You’re so happy! I love seeing you smile!” It’s also important to identify less positive emotions, like frustration. For example, if your older child is crying because you told them they weren’t allowed to go out with friends, you can say “I know you’re upset. Are you annoyed because I told you no?” Teach your children emotions by using visual cues that they can access easily. Use flashcards or an emotion poster your child can refer to when they have trouble telling you how they feel.
Coordinate with other parents of younger children to make weekly or monthly playdates with a variety of different friends. For older children, offer to host their friends after school for a study session or even a sleepover so you can see how their friendships are going. If your child is having problems making and keeping friends, talk to them about what’s going on. If you suspect that they’re being bullied, contact their teacher to discuss the issue and find a resolution. Encourage your child to connect with others at extracurricular activities and make an effort to take your child to social gatherings when they’re invited. Talk to your child to have them invite their friends to their own celebrations.
However, it’s important not to be too restrictive on their social media activity. Find a spot that you’re both comfortable with, and trust your child to stay involved in real life. If problems arise, don’t be afraid to step in and limit their screen time further. Help your kids steer clear of social media sites if they’re younger than 13. [4] X Expert Source Kathy Slattengren, M. Ed. Parent Educator & Coach Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.
As your children get older, you can encourage them to keep a gratitude journal or continue your daily conversations about happiness. This will reinforce the importance of optimism as they grow into adults.
For younger children, this can be as simple as helping them brush their teeth, get dressed, and do small chores around the house. With older children, you can invite them to go for a walk with you, or spend time reading before bed to relax. For instance, if your evenings tend to be busy, you can wake up, pick out clothes, brush your teeth, and have breakfast together with your child every morning.
For example, you can trust a child as young as 7 or 8 to feed and walk the dog after school. For kids 9 and up, give them 2-3 daily chores, like doing dishes, helping with laundry, and running the vacuum. If you have more than 1 kid, switch chores between them every week so that they don’t get bored. In that case, it might be helpful to make a chore chart to keep their responsibilities straight. If you go the store, you could ask your child to grab certain groceries and bring them over to the cart. [8] X Expert Source Kathy Slattengren, M. Ed. Parent Educator & Coach Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.
Implement a mix of both structured and unstructured playtime. Pick specific games to play sometimes, like “Simon Says” or “I Spy,” and then let your child pick what they want to play the rest of the time. For instance, if your child spends 4 hours per day playing, try to devote 1. 5-2 hours to structured playing, and 2-2. 5 hours to unstructured, “free” play time, where they can make their own games. For older children, introduce them to games that require imagination, creativity, and problem-solving skills, like Dominoes, card games, or role-playing games, like Dungeons and Dragons. Rotate your child’s selection of toys so they don’t get tired of them. While your kids have creative playtime, make sure that there aren’t any electronic devices around. This way, their creativity can really grow and flourish. [10] X Expert Source Kathy Slattengren, M. Ed. Parent Educator & Coach Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.
Let them know that when they try something new, they might not be good at it, and that’s okay. Praise them for putting in the effort to try something, rather than achieving perfection. When they aren’t successful at something, remind them that they can always try again and that they have the chance to do it right. For example, if your child is learning how to tie their shoes, give them detailed instructions and walk them through the process. Then, let them do it themselves. They might not get it perfectly right, but you can stay positive and stick with them while they learn.
When you do make a mistake, be sure to apologize to your children and whoever else was involved. Handling issues and mistakes with grace is important for adults and children.
You can plan this for the same time every week, or plan it on different days depending on your schedule.
Try to avoid yelling or engaging in an argument with your child or a fellow parent. This models negative behavior for your child and signals that they should deal with their problems in the same way. For example, if your child is having a tantrum, you can say something like, “I know you’re upset right now, and that’s okay. Let’s go somewhere private so we can talk about what’s going on and help you feel better. ”[16] X Expert Source Kathy Slattengren, M. Ed. Parent Educator & Coach Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.
For example, if your child is learning how to ride a bike and falls over, they might be upset even if they didn’t get hurt. Instead of laughing at them for falling over or telling them they’re bad at riding a bike, you can say something like, “I bet if you try again you’ll get it next time!”
