Write down the issues as they occur, along with the date. You want a detailed, specific record of their behavior in case things get difficult. This conversation will not be easy, and it will more than likely damage your relationship. However, living together with serious differences or issues will also hurt your friendship, so you need to take a stand if they’ve been there too long.
Say, “We’ve enjoyed having you, but we unfortunately need our space back and have to ask you to leave in the next two weeks. " Depending on the reason why they are staying with you, you may need to gather information on community assistance services to help them move out in time. If they are at risk for living in their car or on the streets, help them get in contact with emergency homeless-prevention services. They may even be able to get temporary housing. Stick to the reasons you drafted earlier. If they’ve been a problem or broken promises, remind them that they have not held up their end of the bargain and need to move on to a new environment.
Focus on your reasons for asking them to leave, not all of their flaws, whenever possible. “We need more space,” “We can’t afford to keep you here anymore,” etc.
“I’d like you completely moved out by April 20th. " If there is a legitimate reason why that date is bad, you can talk with them to find a better day. However, don’t shift by more than 3-5 days.
Help them find their new place or job. Avoid insults, even in tense situations. If they are angry, stay calm and reiterate why it is important to you that they find a new place to live. Don’t start slinging insults. Set up times to meet, have them over for dinner, and continue seeing each other as friends. If you get into a big fight, or have serious disagreements, then it may be best to cut them off completely.
This warning will legally establish them as an “at-will tenant. " You need this status if you have to pursue legal action, so do not skip it. Be wary how you word the letter so that they can’t use tenant laws to prevent you from evicting them. Check your individual state’s policies, and make it clear what type of living arrangement you had with the person, especially if they are not paying any rent.
Generally, your letter will outline a place for them to receive their belongings in the event that they don’t move, as well as the specific date their stuff will be removed from your house. [4] X Research source
Once you have a court order, and/or have notified the police that you are worried about your safety, you can safely change your locks.
Set your expectations within the first week. Do they need to pay rent? Do they have to be pursuing job interviews? Have clear benchmarks for them to meet if they want to stay in the house. A written and signed informal contract is the best way to set the rules and guidelines and what each of you expects. It’s even better to have the document notarized. Most banks offer free notaries to those who bank there.
If they need a job, work together to come up with specific goals to reach for – applying to one job a day, rewriting their resume, etc. Make sure they are actually trying to get a job and not just enjoying the free bed.
Keep this as impersonal as possible. Asking them to leave doesn’t have to ruin a friendship, especially if you base your reasons in facts instead of feelings.
Review their goals and promises together regularly, working together to make them a reality. If you can help finance their new move, this may be all they need to get going. [7] X Research source
