Teens might seek out gangs for a feeling of belonging. If your teen feels like an outsider for any reason, he or she may seek out a gang for a sense of community. Peer pressure is also a major factor in teens joining gangs. If your teen has friends who are in a gang or associated with one, your teen may consider joining as well. Teens also don’t always realize the danger of gangs. The idea of being part of a gang might be exciting, especially if your teen has been exposed to video games and other media that glorifies gang violence. If your teen has an underlying mental illness, such as a personality disorder, he or she might seek thrills through joining a gang.
You can research gang activity in your area by browsing police reports and police data online. Most areas have a police blotter website where you can enter your zip code and see of any recent arrests or disturbances in your area. Talk to officials at your teen’s school. Principals and superintendents should be aware if there is any gang activity occurring in their jurisdiction. Make an appointment with an official at the school and ask him or her about gang activity. Many people feel certain locations make them immune to gangs. If you live in the suburbs, for example, you might think your teen is immune to gang violence. However, in a lot of big cities gangs eventually move into the suburbs. In the Chicago suburb Evanston, for example, gang activity has been on the rise in the last few years. Be vigilant about potential gang activity regardless of your location.
Wearing a certain color or color scheme suddenly An increased interest in gangs, gangster music, and gangster movies Bragging about having friends in gangs Coming home with expensive items Using hand gestures and signs to communicate with friends Aggressive or withdrawn behavior
Be as frank as possible when discussing gangs with your teens. Explain that, short term, gang activity can lead to trouble with police, trouble with school, and poor relationships with family members. Longterm, make sure your teen knows gang activity can prevent them having access to education and employment options, time in jail, and a risk to their personal safety and the personal safety of their family and friends. Listen as well. Your teen may be compelled to argue or even disregard what you’re saying. Try to understand why your teen is resisting. Is he or she being intimidated by a gang? Is a person your teen looks up to in a gang? Understanding the reasons gang membership is appealing to teens can help you better address the problem.
Encourage your teen to engage in activities that appeal to his or her interest. Is your teen always sketching or drawing? Enroll him or her in art classes. Is your teen athletic? Encourage him or her to join a school sports team. Is your teen interested in music? Invest in a piano, guitar, or other musical instrument. Push your teen to find an after school job. While some teens might resist the notion of working, emphasize how building a work ethic can help later on. Talk about what your teen could do with all the extra spending money. Allow your teen to have friends over at your house. You want your teen to feel most comfortable at home, where it’s safe. This also gives you an opportunity to get to know your teen and his or her peers. You can encourage wholesome activities, like board games and age appropriate movies, over the kinds of activities that might land your teen in trouble.
Always listen without judgment. If your teen is willing to share something with you, let him or her. Try to stay calm and listen, even if your concerned by what your teen is saying. Remember, as a parent you’re better off hearing bad news than not hearing it. Being reactionary and harsh can discourage your teen from reaching out when in need. Respect your teen’s sense of privacy and autonomy. Unless you suspect a serious problem, allow your teen his or her own space. Let them have a bedroom to themselves. Do not always ask who your teen is calling or texting on the phone. Do not touch your teen’s belonging without permission. Schedule times to talk. You do not need to schedule a weekly conversation, but having a family dinner night or board game night gives your teen the opportunity to share. Strive to keep communication open and keep yourself available when your teen is in need.
Get your teen involved in the community. Encourage him or her to volunteer. Take him or her to church, town hall meetings, and other places and meetings you attend. Teach your teen about people you admire. This can be someone you know personally, like your great-grandmother who supported her family during the Great Depression. It can also be a public figure, like a politician or activist. Showing your teen what you believe admirable qualities constitute can lessen the appeal of gang members.
Schedule a meeting with other parents in town to discuss gang activity in your area. Brainstorm ideas about how to keep your teens out of gangs. Working together, you and other parents can create regular community events and activities for teens to engage in in order to discourage them from joining gangs. You can also go, as a group, to a PTA to raise any concerns you have about gang activity in the school system. Look into starting a neighborhood watch to keep on the lookout for gang activity.
Start letter writing and phone campaigns to local members of Congress. Explain why your area needs help addressing gang violence and gang activity. Demand community outreach in your area. Raise awareness. Buy an ad on the local radio. Hand out pamphlets at community centers, schools, churches, grocery stores, and other areas. A single call to local police about gang activity has little effect. A collective group effort is necessary to stomping out gang activity in your area. Make sure other parents on board with talking to the police together.
