People often start with small lies, which grow over time. When people ask you how you’re doing, do you respond honestly? Do you bite your tongue? Are you lying by omission? These small lies can often morph into bigger lies to keep up appearances. People also may lie to make themselves look better. For example, you may find yourself lying to your doctor about your habits or to your boss about your work ethic. These lies can have big consequences if you keep up with them.

Think about the potential consequences each time you lie. Is anyone getting hurt? Are you potentially hurting yourself? Is this a situation where lying has any benefits? For example, maybe your spouse asks for your input about confronting their boss at work. They expect your support, but you think it’s a bad idea. Lying to spare your spouse’s feelings could have major consequences for their career. Lying can also harm your self-esteem because you are not being genuine or true to yourself.

Make a habit of examining every aspect of your life. Are you being as healthy as you could be? Are your relationships fulfilling? Are you working as hard on your career as you should be? If something feels wrong or off, learn to confront it rather than ignore it. If you, for example, feel uncomfortable in a relationship, evaluate why rather than letting things go on longer than necessary. Keep in mind that being honest with yourself takes courage and self-awareness. It is important to be honest to keep a balance mentally, physically, and emotionally. Don’t be afraid to confront reality, because seeing things as they really are isn’t a negative thing![3] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.

Being objective with yourself is part of radical honesty, and it also includes taking responsibility for your actions. For example, if you know that you are eating unhealthy foods, being honest about your eating habits will require that you change them. To increase your self-awareness, try periodically thinking about why you’re doing what you’re doing, and how your actions make you feel. [5] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.

For example, before sharing your honest opinion with someone, say something like, “So, I practice radical honesty, which means I try to give objective assessments. " With your spouse, talk over the concept of radical honesty together before you begin practicing it. Talk about why it would help with your marriage and what the two of you can expect.

For example, say something like, “I know I said I thought your proposal was great earlier today, but I actually wasn’t being entirely honest because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I actually have some concerns and wanted to talk them over with you. " By recognizing that you have a tendency to be less than truthful and deciding to change, you are already moving towards a more positive stage. [7] X Expert Source Amy WongLeadership & Transformational Coach Expert Interview. 30 April 2020.

Learn to express frustration to others. For example, “I’m annoyed that you didn’t respond to our memo earlier. I need you to be quicker in the future. " If possible, express your honesty in person. It allows you to fully experience the ramifications of being radically honest, and makes it harder for the receiving party to ignore you.

For example, say your spouse has a tendency to be on their phone while you two are out together. You have ignored this before, but the tendency really does make you feel ignored. Do not say, “You shouldn’t be on your phone all the time when you’re out. It’s disrespectful. " Rephrase the above statement using an “I”-statement. For example, “I feel disrespected when you’re on the phone all the time when we’re out together because it seems like you’re not paying attention to me. "

“Thanks for telling me. " “That’s fine. " “That’s true!””

If someone asks for your opinion, find a way to give that to them in a way that’s not overtly mean or comes off as a put-down. For example, a friend asks you what you think of a dress they’re trying to purchase. Do not say, “That looks awful on you. " Instead, say something like, “That isn’t the best style for you. "

For example, do not say to your spouse, “You need to have your phone off when we’re together. " Instead say, “I would appreciate it if you could be on your phone less often when we’re out. "