Finding these flaws will likely take some time. Engage with the person outside of your regular circumstances or spend more time with them than usual. Chances are, seeing them outside of your typical scenario will show you a different, and unflattering, side. [1] X Research source If, after significant time and effort, you are unable to find any flaws, this could signal an especially problematic obsession. Seek professional help immediately.
For example, when your feelings get overwhelming, remind yourself that this is just something that you do. It’s not indicative that you are completely in love with or can’t live without this person, it’s simply a tendency you have. Coming to terms with that may make you realize that your infatuation is just a habit. [2] X Research source Try journaling. Journaling can help you organize your thoughts and better understand patterns of infatuation in your life.
Think about the person you are already in a relationship with if you are in one. Ponder a time when you felt really close and connected to the person. You’ll likely find that experiencing these feelings kick the other person out of your head. [4] X Research source If you aren’t in a relationship, focus on someone else you admire, such as a close friend, a family member, or a respectable member of your community.
For instance, imagine your mind as a small room that has a person with a broom living in it. Think about the person sweeping away dust and dirt on the floor of that room whenever your infatuation enters your mind. Continue this game until the floor is completely clean and the thought leaves your brain. [5] X Research source
Don’t snap the band too hard! The sensation should be mild. Combine the wrist snap with a visual aid, like a red light or a stop sign. Think of these images whenever the unwanted thoughts pop up.
For example, read a book, watch your favorite television show, exercise, or call someone. The positive feelings you generate from these activities will likely eventually replace the negative ones you feel over your infatuation. [7] X Research source
Ask your friends, family members, or a doctor for recommendations. Look online for names if you don’t feel comfortable asking those you know. [8] X Research source
For instance, you could have borderline personality disorder and may not know it. Repeated infatuation and obsession could be a sign that you are struggling with this condition. [10] X Research source If you feel your obsession is getting out of control, you may be at heightened risk for self-harm. Communicate your feelings to your therapist. They will likely make a contract with you to eliminate self-harm.
Consider also asking your support system to help you get over the person by spending more time with you, helping to eliminate the person’s presence in your life, and reminding you of how imperfect they are, when you’re struggling. [11] X Research source
