You can say something like “Everyone fails. There’s people in this class who have failed an exam. It happens to everyone at some point, and you can get through it!”
Ask them to tell you how they feel, and let them talk as long as they need to. You can say something like “Tell me how you’re feeling about it. I’m here to listen as long as you need me. "
You can say “I know it feels like you’ll never get past this, but you will. Failing this one test doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. It just means you hit a bump in the road. "
For example, say something like “You know how everyone talks about how John is the most successful alumnus we’ve got? Well, he failed this exact same exam. And he still did great!”
Say something like, “How about we go for a walk? It’ll get your mind off of things and let you recharge a little bit. "
Share strategies that you find successful. For instance, if you always use flashcards, you can show them how you organize your notes into flashcards.
You can suggest they look for tutor services at their school, or through websites for companies like Sylvan Learning.
For example, they can say something like “Dr. Smith, I’d really like to meet with you to talk about this failed exam. I’m worried about how it might affect my ability to pass the class or graduate. "
They can say things like, “I’m really concerned about this grade because it could prevent me from graduating. I went over my notes and reading and I didn’t see the material from the test covered there anywhere. " Or they can say “I feel I adequately answered the essay question. I’ve marked my essay in these 3 places that show my direct answers and I was hoping we could go over them and discuss my grade. "
For example, they could say something like, “I didn’t say anything on the day of the exam because it felt like an excuse, but I was really sick and I think that affected my performance. "
For example, they can say something like, “Would you allow me to retake this exam?” or “Is there any extra credit I can do to make up some of the points I lost? I’m really worried about its effect on my ability to graduate. "
Practicing the conversation they’ll have with their professor can help them stay calm. Offer to act as the professor and let them get out all of their frustration before they even ask for a meeting.
