Peer pressure can be difficult when all you want is for people to accept you. But true acceptance starts with yourself. Learn to be compassionate toward yourself — forgive mistakes and learn from them. Remember that there never has been and never will be anyone else exactly like you, and that’s a pretty amazing thing. [1] X Research source No one can do you as well as you can. As Judy Garland said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else. " Be optimistic that people will like you for you.
Are you acting in a way that you think is right, and matches what you really think? Or are you just “going along with everyone else”? Think about someone who is heroic for their efforts in the community. What do you think that hero would do? By following your intuition, you will get closer to who you really are. Don’t be afraid to listen. Focus less on judging others, and more on accepting them (and yourself) for who they are. [2] X Research source Practice being assertive, meaning you clearly express yourself while respecting the views and beliefs of others.
Being real means being honest about what you want versus need, hope versus fear, and like versus dislike. “Dressing to impress” is not a requirement 24/7. While it is healthy to look good, and have others compliment you, you cannot define your sense of self only by what others say or think.
Getting people to “follow” or “like” you in social media can have an emotional toll, as you feel the need to compete with others for attention rather than thinking about what really matters in life. [3] X Research source
Superficial people are not open to difficult situations. Rather than avoiding people when they don’t “fit in,” lend a hand, and make an impact in a real and honest way. We all have ups and downs in life. Share both the ups and the downs, not just one or the other.
While it’s okay to say you’re doing “fine,” there are times when you don’t have to smile and pretend everything is fine. You are human. You have good days, bad days, and so-so days. This is not an excuse to act angry, mean, or rude, but rather you don’t have to put on a fake smile all day. It’s important that sometimes you confront your feelings rather than ignore them.
Pretending to know more, or be better at something than you really are, will often end badly. Particularly if you are pretending to have more skills for a job or project than you do. Faking it to fill some void, or feeling like you’re not good enough, is an issue of self-esteem. Faking self-confidence can be harmful in the long run to your mental and physical health. Being fake doesn’t necessarily get you more, or better things, in life. It is like lying — a temporary fix to a persistently deeper issue. [4] X Research source
While having someone to admire is important, think about what challenges they may have faced, and the fact that no one was born with a perfect life. The people who “you wish you could be” all worked and struggled. If they say it just came “naturally,” they are likely lying. Life is often about trial and error, in hopes of you reaching your better, happier, smarter, and more beautiful self.
By pretending to like something that you don’t, people may notice, and wonder why you’re acting that way. Pretending out of politeness is different from pretending in order to fool others and yourself. If you are trying to fool yourself into liking something, that likely will not last. It’s okay to have a different opinion or interest in something. You can still have a good time even if you have differences with other people. [5] X Research source
If they are your friends, be honest with them about how their actions make you feel, and see if they respond in a caring and sincere way. If they don’t, consider spending time with other friends. Don’t let someone make you feel less than, even if he has a fake smile throughout. Sometimes calling someone out on what he is doing can help to change the way he is acting. For instance you could say, “You know Bill, I see you smiling but you actually seem uncomfortable or upset. Is something wrong?”
They may see your successes as competition and attempt to “one-up” you in order to feel good. When you encounter someone like this, remember that she is coming from a place of fear and insecurity, no matter how confident she may seem in the moment. Instead of getting angry or trying to fight back by one-upping her, try to look at her behavior with compassion — think to yourself, “Wow, she must be feeling really insecure right now. " Then just smile and refuse to participate in her game.
Spend more time with those who know, love and care about you. Talk with parents, school counselors, or mentors that may have advice about what you’re feeling. Make an effort to reconnect with friends or family that you may have ignored or lost touch with. Some of them may not respond, but the real friends and family will forgive and forget. [7] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
