You don’t have to tell your friend that you have a crush if you don’t want to. Say something like, “Hey, Rachel’s in your math class, right? Can you introduce me? I need help on this new chapter. ” It’s also great to bring a friend along if your crush is hanging out with a big group of people. Approaching with some backup can help you feel more confident.
Try giving yourself a 3-second deadline to go talk to your crush. Hesitating gives you time to start worrying and second-guessing yourself. Going straight up to them will actually help you feel more confident!
Say something like, “Hey, I’m not sure we’ve officially met yet. My name is David. ” Introducing yourself is a great way to start if you have something specific to ask of your crush, such as help on a project. If you want to start a more casual conversation, you might want to jump right in with a question or clever comment. Start however feels most natural to you and the situation.
For a relaxed start to a conversation, begin your question with “I heard…”, such as, “So, I heard you’re on the basketball team. How are you guys doing this year?” If you’re starting with a comment, make an observation on something around you. You could lightly complain about cafeteria food or the drinks at a bar, or point out decorations at a dance or in a hallway. Bringing up something you have in common, like a class or an interest, is a great conversation starter. Say something like, “Have you started the history assignment yet?” or “Have you heard about that new superhero movie?”
For example, you could compliment them on a recent achievement by saying, “I heard you did really well on the last algebra test. That’s awesome! How much did you have to study?” If you know they have a special talent or hobby, comment on it to show that you’re interested in them. Say, for example, “Is it true you play the drums? That’s so cool. ” To keep things casual, lightly tease your crush while you compliment them. For example, you could smile and say, “So I heard you’re this big soccer star, huh?”
Continue talking about the first topic you brought up. If you’ve run out of things to talk about in that subject, move on to something easy, like “What are you up to this weekend?”
Distract yourself from your nerves by listening to what your crush is talking about and coming up with new questions to ask them. If your hands are fidgeting or shaking, put them in your pockets or grab a book or bag to hold. Remember to make eye contact while you talk. Don’t stare at your crush, but make sure to hold eye contact for at least a few seconds at a time to show that you’re interested in what they’re saying. [4] X Research source
If you can tell they’re not into the conversation, tell them you have to go but that it was great to talk to them. Don’t be mean or impolite—they might just be having a bad day, and you may still be able to talk to them another time.
For example, if you were talking about an upcoming test, you could say, “Would you want to get together to study for that?” If you were talking about an event, like a concert or sports game, you could say, “My friends and I actually have an extra ticket to that if you wanted to go!” It’s OK if making plans feels too sudden. Now that you’ve had a great conversation, you’ll be able to talk to them again and start building a friendship, and maybe more.
If it feels awkward to leave without giving an excuse, say something like, “Well, I better get back to my friends, but it was great talking to you,” or, “I should get to class, but I’ll see you around!”
You could say, for example, “I’d better get to class, at least one of us should be on time!” or “So I guess I’ll be seeing your name in the paper when you get that game-winning hit on Saturday!”
Make up an excuse to leave quickly and politely. You could say, for example, “I’m meeting a friend for lunch, so I better go. See you later. ” It never feels good to get shut down by someone you like, and it’s OK to feel disappointed or upset. Let yourself feel sad for a few minutes, then move on and focus on other things. If they’re not interested, it’s their loss.
Once you decide to text them, take a few minutes to gather your courage and decide what you want to say. Take a few deep breaths and remember that everything is going to be OK. Remember that you have a big advantage: since you’re talking over text, your crush won’t be able to tell that you’re nervous!
For example, you could say something like, “Hey, are you going to Josh’s party tonight?” or “Do you have the math homework for this week? I totally forgot to write it down. ” You could also start off with a comment about something you have in common, like “Mr. Jones was being so crazy in history today,” or “The Lions played really well last night, did you watch the game?”
For example, if your crush is taking exams all week, you could send them a funny “Good luck on your exams!” meme or gif. Try not to send something that’s totally random, which could confuse them or make them feel awkward. You want them to be able to tell what you’re referencing, which will make it feel like a funny inside joke.
For example, you could say something like, “I heard you passed your driver’s test the other day… I’ll tell everyone I know to stay off the roads ;)” You can also try self-deprecating or exaggerated humor about yourself. If they mention that you got a high score on a test, for example, you could say something like, “Yeah, apparently I’m a genius or something ¯_(ツ)_/¯” Only tease them about lighter topics. Stay away from things like family, appearance, politics, or other sensitive subjects, especially if you’re just getting to know them.
Waiting to text back until they respond can show that you’re relaxed, flexible, and even intriguing. It’s best not to flood them with messages even when they do text you back. Sending just one or two messages at a time shows that you’re playing it cool and have your own life.
Feel free to take a few minutes between texts to take a few calming breaths and think about what you want to say next. It’s fine to take up to 10-15 minutes (but no longer) to send your next text if you really need time to think.
At this point, it’s best to put down your phone and walk away. Stop texting them and respect that they don’t feel the same way, but remember that it’s their loss. Remember, you should never use up your time on someone who doesn’t see how awesome you are. It’s OK to feel disappointed and upset, but you should also be really proud of yourself for having the courage to put yourself out there.
