Don’t tell other people that you’re taking an acting class, if you’re only doing it to learn how to manipulate people. Otherwise they may grow suspicious of your tactics instead of believing you.
The calm and persuasive method is great for convincing your boss or coworkers to do something. Being emotional may not work in a professional setting.
Make people feel special. Make eye contact when you talk to them, and ask them about their feelings and interests. Show them that you really care about getting to know them—even if you don’t. Exude confidence. Charismatic people love who they are and what they do. And if you have faith in yourself, then people will be much more likely to take you seriously and to give in to your needs. Be confident. When you say something, whether it’s true or just another creation, do it with confidence. Try to be glib while speaking out with your subject.
If you’re really committed to learning how to manipulate people, then you may even find yourself equipped with the skills to manipulate one of the people you’ve been studying.
Many people are susceptible to emotional responses. These people are emotional themselves, cry at movies, love puppies, and have strong powers of sympathy and empathy. To get them to do what you want, you’ll have to play to their emotions until they feel sorry for you and give you what you want. Other people have a strong guilt reflex. Some people were raised in a restrictive household, where they were punished for doing every little thing wrong and now go through life feeling guilty about everything they do. With these people, the answer is obvious—make them feel guilty for not giving you what you want until they give in. Some people are more receptive to the rational approach. If your friend is very logically minded, reads the news often, and always needs facts and evidence before he makes a decision, then you’ll have to use your calm persuasive powers to get what you want instead of using your feelings to manipulate him.
For example, if you want your employee to come in early the next day, just say, “Would you mind leading the new project? You’ll just have to come in to work two hours early for the next few months. ” When your employee shakes their head, just say, “Oh, all right. But would you mind coming in early tomorrow to help me wrap up this report?” They’ll be much more receptive after the first request.
For example, if you want to ask someone on the street to sign a petition, you can first ask that person to help you tie your shoe because you sprained your back and can’t bend down. This will establish a relationship with the person and will make them less likely to turn you down when you ask them to sign the petition.
For example, you could tell your friend, “You know, when I was driving your car, I heard the most terrible noise and was sure that your engine died. But then I realized it was just coming from the radio—isn’t that funny?” Pause and wait for your friend to recover before you say, “Which reminds me—do you mind if I borrow your car again over the weekend?”
If you want your parents to feel guilty, just make them feel that your life or childhood is suffering because they’re not letting you have enough experiences. If you want your friend to feel guilty, remind them of all the great things you’ve done for them, or casually mention all the times they’ve let you down. If you want your boyfriend to feel guilty, just say, “It’s okay—I expected this,” thus making them feel like they always lets you down.
Figure out what the person wants and try to give it to them. If your friend has a crush on the new guy in school, promise that you’ll try to get their number if they do what you want. Don’t make it obvious that you’re bribing. Just make it seem like you really want to do something nice for that person in return.
Play dumb. Say, “I just don’t know what I keep doing wrong. ” Make it sound like you’re genuinely baffled by why things never work out for you. Say, “It’s okay—I’m used to this. ” Make the person feel guilty, like you’re surrounded by people who will never help you out. Be pathetic. If your friend won’t give you a ride across town, say, “It’s okay—I’ll just walk. I could use the exercise. ”
Act like what you want is the only logical thing to do. Make the person feel ridiculous for not seeing it your way without saying so.
Once you admit to using manipulative tactics, it will be very hard to manipulate the same person again.
Use your emotions. Your friends care for you, and they won’t want to see you upset. Use those acting skills to look much more upset than you really are. Remind your friend of what a great friend you are. Be prepared with examples of times when you’ve done amazing things for the sake of friendship. Lay on the guilt. You don’t have to play the “bad friend” card, but you can casually mention some other times that the friend has let you down. Make it sound like you’re used to this kind of uncaring behavior from your friend without being too accusatory.
Whatever your approach, make sure that you look sexy when you make your request. You’ll be more likely to get what you want if your significant other is reminded of how cute or hot you are.
Use your emotions. Does your significant other want to see you crying or being very visibly upset? Of course not. If you really want to get what you want, use the waterworks approach in public. Just as a parent is more likely to give in to a child who is throwing a public tantrum, your partner will be more likely to give in if you’re crying in public. Use this technique sparingly though. Use small bribes. If you really want your partner to take you out on a romantic picnic, offer to go to the baseball game with them the next day. Then this becomes less like manipulation and more like ordinary compromise.
Try to be a model worker on the week before you make your request. Work a little late, keep a big smile on your face, and even bring in bagels or pastries in the morning “just because. ” Ask in an offhand way. Ask your boss like it’s no big deal, and just casually make the request instead of saying, “There’s something really important I wanted to ask you. ” This will alert him that what you’re asking really is a big deal. Try to ask at the end of the day or during a break. Don’t talk to your boss at the beginning of the day, when they’re stressed out by all the work they have to do. Instead, ask them when they’re about to leave for lunch or go home at the end of the day—then they’ll be more likely to grant you the request than wasting their free time arguing with you.
Tell your teacher how great he is without sucking up. Just casually mention how inspiring they are or how much you love the subject matter. Mention that “a lot of stuff is going on at home. ” This will make things awkward and your teacher will feel sorry for you without wanting to know more. As you continue to talk about your personal life, wait for your teacher to get uncomfortable and offer to give you an extension or to let you rewrite your paper. If this doesn’t happen, start in the negative. Say, “I know you don’t normally give extensions…” and let your voice trail off as your eyes get misty and you look out the window longingly. If this still doesn’t work, go for the heartstrings. Start crying while being mysterious about the stuff “going on at home” and wait for your teacher to get so uncomfortable that he has no choice but to give you what you want.
State your request like it’s perfectly reasonable. If you want to go to a concert on a school night, casually ask in an offhand way instead of sitting down to have a big talk about it. Make it look like you couldn’t possibly see why your parents would say no. You can even try asking while you’re folding laundry or doing the dishes. This will remind your parents of what a great child you really are. Talk about how all of your friends are doing this thing, and how their parents are okay with it. Don’t make this a big deal. Make your parents feel guilty. If you wanted to go to a concert, just say, “It’s no big deal. I’ll just get my friends to get me a t-shirt or something after the show. ” Make them feel like they’re really making you miss out on a major social or another type of experience. Don’t say, “You’re ruining my life!” If you play your cards right, they’ll reach that conclusion on their own.
