Give the person your full attention, don’t play on your phone or computer. Giving someone your full attention makes them feel more heard and appreciated. Some common people are siblings, parents, grandparents, and close friends. She may also mention pets, children, or even classmates and colleagues. Try to learn about these people and their relationship with your special friend. Sometimes it is best to just listen, and not offer solutions. For example: your friend tells you that she’s frustrated with her basketball coach. Say something like, “That does sound really frustrating, I’m sorry you had to go through that. ” Avoid saying things like, “I know exactly how that feels”, because chances are you don’t fully understand what she’s going through and it might make her feel bad. Instead, practice empathy by showing kindness and paying attention to the needs the other person expresses. [3] X Research source
You remember that she is very close with her brother, and the last time they hung out was over spring break when they went on a family trip to the beach. Ask her how her brother is doing, and if she has seen him lately. Maybe ask her if she’s been to the beach lately, or if she has any plans to see her brother again soon.
Be careful to not overdo it, the limit and amount of touching depends on your relationship with your special person. There should be very different limits if your special person is a significant other versus a friend or family member.
Best friend(s). Does she hang out with one person or a group of people all the time? Learn about these people, how your special person met them, and what they do when they hang out. Close family members. Is she close with any siblings, or is she closer to parents or grandparents? If she always mentions doing things with her dad, that’s a good sign that her and her dad are very close. Make a note. Favorite soda. Does she prefer Pepsi or Coke? Does she like regular or does she prefer diet? Simpler things like this can still prove to be valuable. Favorite food. Maybe she loves Indian food, or maybe there’s one specific dish that’s her absolute favorite. Try to notice if she always eats the same thing, or if she frequently suggests the same type of restaurant. Sports and hobbies. Is your friend always at practice or taking lessons? Maybe she plays a sport, but doesn’t take it too seriously and just does it for fun. Try to pay attention not only to what her hobbies are, but how involved she is in them.
A favorite food or drink. This one is super easy but will still make the person feel loved. Something from your friend’s favorite sports team. A team jersey, a t-shirt, or even tickets to a game are just a few good places to start. A collectible item. Lots of people collect things like coffee mugs, cards, and plenty of other objects. Adding something to your friend’s collection is a perfect way to show you care. Another option is to make something for her. Have her over and cook her favorite meal for her, or draw her a picture of her. Use your talents to create something that shows you care about her.
Be genuine. Think about things your friend is proud of and reinforce that idea. A genuine complement is more meaningful and is way easier to deliver. Pay attention. If your friend is trying something new, like a new outfit or accessory, that is a great opportunity to say something nice. Complement the person’s personality. If your friend does something nice for you, thank them and use an extra sentence or two to let them know you think they’re a genuinely kind person. Make sure to smile while you deliver your compliment.
Some other examples of good places to go include restaurants, vacation destinations, and sporting events.
When you talk, try to follow up on topics that she previously mentioned. This shows her both that you remember what she was saying and that you care enough to ask about her life.
She posts a picture of her going skiing. The next time you talk, tell her you saw her post and ask her if she had fun. Did she go with friends or family? This will show her that you are thinking about her, and that you want to learn more about her.
When you introduce your two friends, tell a fun fact about them to give both of them something to talk about and make them feel good. Example: “Emily, this is my friend Olivia, we played on the same soccer team in high school, and she was by far the best defender on the team. Olivia, Emily and I were both chemistry majors in college and took a lot of classes together, we made class really fun together. ” Now they both have context for your friendships, and have a few easy topics to start a conversation.
If the two of you have mutual friends or know her good friends, try to include them on the plans. This is an easy way to show her that you’re paying attention to the important people in her life.
