When you take a risk and trust someone, they will often surprise you. Not everyone will respond the way you want. Some people just won’t get you, which can be very disappointing. But this is the way you find out whether an acquaintance has the makings of a true friend.
If you like to make people laugh, don’t be afraid to make jokes. A sense of humor is an attractive quality! Just be sure you’re not making jokes about other people, which always comes across as meaner than you intended it to be.
Don’t pretend to like certain things just because your acquaintance does. This always comes across as fake, and it’s a big turnoff to most people.
If your new friend belongs to a book club, chess club, or theater group, see if you can join. If he or she participates in charity work, volunteer your time and help out.
If one of your acquaintance’s favorite bands is coming to town, buy tickets and invite him or her to go with you. He or she will probably be thrilled. If he or she can’t go for some reason, you can always find someone else to take the other ticket. [5] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source If you invite the person to go see a movie, have a specific movie in mind that you think the person might like to see based on his or her interests. This shows you’ve been paying attention to what the person likes. [6] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source Watch for other possible opportunities to spend time with the person. Pay attention to upcoming events, especially things your acquaintance has expressed interest in. See if he or she wants to go with you to a game, a gallery opening, a flea market, or a big sale.
For example, you and your acquaintance might enjoy learning a new style of dance, taking a pottery class, or learning to play the ukulele. [7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
If you are heading to the vending machines, ask the people you are with if you can get them anything. If you see that an acquaintance is struggling in a class that you take together, see if he or she would like to study with you sometime. Don’t act like you’re smarter than this person are; just say that you could use a study-buddy.
Try to make direct eye contact now and then, and hold it for a slow count of three. Even when you are feeling shy and find it difficult to make eye contact, try to force yourself to do it.
Complimenting a person on their shoes, bag, or necklace is a safe bet. Just be sure you’re not saying the same exact thing to them, every time you meet. For example, you might say something like, “Your shoes are so cool!” Or, “I love your dress! It’s so pretty!” If there is something outstanding about this person, even better! “You have the brightest smile I’ve seen in ages. ” “You are always so cheerful! How do you do it?” If someone opens a door for you, you can say, “Chivalry’s not dead!” to compliment their nice manners. ”You’re so funny!” is always appreciated – everyone likes to think they have a good sense of humor. Just make sure you really mean it, and that you laugh! Saying this without laughing is the worst.
If you find yourself stuck in a conversation that you can’t contribute to, see if you can change the topic of conversation. Try not to interrupt, but when your friend gets to a stopping point, you can bring up something else. Sometimes a friend will want to talk about something very serious or personal when you are in a hurry, or are too distracted by your own thoughts to really pay attention. Ask if you can talk about it later when you can give them your undivided attention.
If you feel like you’re too shy sometimes, go out of your way to be more outgoing in social situations – even if it is uncomfortable. If you feel like you’re unreliable at times, and let people down, make it a priority never to make promises you aren’t completely positive you’ll be able to keep. Then follow through on any plans you make with your friends, every single time.
Don’t keep track of who paid for lunch last time, or who drove last weekend, or who has been chipping in more for gas money. Don’t keep track of how often you contact your friend versus how often your friend contacts you. Making a big deal about this may make your friend want to avoid you completely. If it seems like you are constantly inviting your friend to things, and he or she is not inviting you to as many things – don’t worry about it. As long as you are seeing each other, it doesn’t matter who issued the invitation.
