Even though it’s important to give your boyfriend or girlfriend your attention, it will need to be a balance. You are obviously in college because you want to succeed in school, so make sure you are giving the right amount of time to all of your academic responsibilities. [2] X Research source Sometimes, combining the priorities of school and a significant other can work, too—try having study dates, or doing homework together.
Taking time for yourself might seem like an easy thing to do, but you might find out it can be difficult! If you are having trouble making time for yourself, put it in your planner or on your calendar, and make sure not to schedule anything else during that time.
Simply talking isn’t necessarily good communication. Make sure you are really listening to your significant other rather than just waiting for your turn to speak. [5] X Research source An advantage of living near your boyfriend or girlfriend through college is that when you communicate with them, you can also read into their body language. For example, folded arms might indicate defensiveness, while a lack of making eye contact might signal disinterest or even shame. [6] X Research source
There are apps for smartphones that allow you and your partner to touch your thumbs to the same spot on the screen and your phone will emit a vibration. [7] X Research source Video chatting services like Skype and FaceTime allow for those in long distance relationships to have face-to-face conversations rather than just talking on the phone. Download a video chatting service and get a webcam! Most new laptops come with web-cameras built in. It’s safe to say that most people use text messaging very often in their everyday lives. Use it as a way of sending messages and photos to your significant other while you are apart. It will help you feel more connected and more like you are a part of each other’s day-to-day lives.
Be open and honest about your needs and where you want the relationship to go. Don’t be afraid to tell your significant other if your needs aren’t being met, or if you think you both should work towards making some changes. [8] X Research source
Book airline tickets well in advance. A few months to about 8 weeks before is a good window for purchasing. You can even create a price alert on some travel websites and get an e-mail or text alert when plane tickets for your route go down. Try planning a trip to a third location—rather than you going to see them or them coming to see you, plan to meet in the middle, or meet up in some other fun, interesting location. Not only will it keep things interesting, but the effort will feel more balanced on both sides. Consider taking a bus. It isn’t as time efficient, but new express bus services in the US can take you pretty long distances for a low fee.
Don’t be quick to assume your partner feels the same about any given thing as you do. Establishing boundaries can help eliminate that instinct and allow for better communication and a more healthy relationship. [10] X Research source When setting boundaries, try not to use language like “never” or “always. ” These are less likely to last because they are absolute and unrealistic. [11] X Research source
Don’t physically leave (or hang up the phone) is your discussion is not over. Walking out in the middle of a discussion will only make the problem bigger and last longer. Being in a long distance relationship can make it difficult to justify spending your rare physical time together having serious discussions about feelings or issues, but doing so is important. [13] X Research source
Just because you are in a relationship does not give automatic consent. Consent is “affirmative, voluntary, and sober. ” [14] X Research source It can also be taken away at any time by either partner. Make sure both partners have always given clear consent. Both partners should consider getting tested for STDs prior to becoming intimate. One in four people under the age of 25 has a sexually transmitted disease. Practice safe sex.
Be open with your partner about your beliefs and opinions on what constitutes cheating, and what cheating could mean for your relationship.
If you stay focused in the moment, even small arguments will be less likely to expand into bigger deals. Don’t let an argument about what to make for dinner end up snowballing into an argument about other, bigger things. [15] X Research source
Be understanding when your boyfriend or girlfriend is very busy with school or work. If you are understanding with them, they will be better able to return the favor when you get busy. If you find your schedules are especially conflicting and you are finding it harder and harder to be understanding when your plans get broken due to other commitments, try talking it out with one another and making a schedule that you can both stick to.
