Be sure to speak clearly so the other person can hear you. If you are shy, practice with one of your family members. Always smile and say hi in the hallway when you see the person again. You want to seem as friendly as possible.
“Your hair looks really nice!” “I like your shirt. It really suits you!” “You did a good job on your project!” You can also follow up a compliment with a question to get the conversation started. For example, “I like your shirt! Where did you get it?”
It is important that you share information about yourself as well. Friendship is a two way street. Listen when the other person is talking and do not cut them off. Wait until they are finished before you begin to talk.
Do not give away money or other things that are special to you. You do not want someone to be friends with you just because you give them things.
Observe other kids in your class to see if they have some of your interests. Are they wearing a shirt with a movie character or band on it? Do they use special folders that are linked to their interests? Ask questions to see what they like. For example, “Hey, have you seen ___? It’s really good!” or “Do you like ___?” Do not pretend to like something just to be friends with someone. If you want to have a best friend, you need to be honest and show who you really are. If you are shy and you notice another girl that keeps to herself, this would be a good person for you to approach. You two can probably understand each other better than the popular girl who is the life of the party. If you are involved in an extracurricular activity, you know you have at least one common interest with that person already.
If the person is coming to your house, think of some activities the two of you can do together. Pick activities that both of you will like. You want the person to have as much fun as possible around you. Some activities you may suggest include riding bikes, painting your nails, watching or going to a movie, or baking cookies. If you can’t think of anything, ask your parents to help you come up with some ideas.
Texting is also a good way to have conversations if you are shy or get nervous in person. You can get to know the person, so it is easier to talk in person. If you text her and she never responds, do not continue to text her. Wait to see if she will text you first. You should not always be the person that initiates conversations.
Some friends are not meant to be your best friend. There is nothing wrong with staying regular friends. Over time, you should be able to tell if the person wants to be your best friends as well. They will put time and effort into your relationship.
If you are ever worried about something your friend tells you, let your friend know that you are worried and suggest the two of you talk to an adult that you trust. If you and your friend get into an argument, work it out with your friend and do not tell other people.
Do not be too pushy or overbearing when you ask. If your friend seems hesitant about making future plans, back off. Let the person know that you’re happy that the two of you are friends and you look forward to hanging out with them. You could also text the person after you hang out and say, “I had fun today. Can’t wait to hang out again!”
You will not like everything about your potential best friend, but focus on her good qualities and the fun times that you have with her. Keep in mind that the more time you spend around someone, you will begin to pick up some of their same behaviors. Choose wisely when you pick a best friend.
The person makes excuses or is always too busy to hang out with you. The person does not call or text you first, or always takes a really long time to respond. You always have to initiate conversations with the person. The person does not want to spend time with you on the weekends or after school.
How your friend treats other people is how she will probably treat you. Since you are looking for a best friend, definitely stay away from girls who gossip about others and tell personal information. You need a best friend you can trust.
In the early stages stick to talking about more superficial things such as school, music, TV, or sports teams that you like. Avoid talking about your fears or family issues early on. Wait until you have known the person for a while. If your friend begins to share more personal information with you, this is a sign that you can begin to share the same type of information as well. Initiate the conversation and see if she responds. If she doesn’t, don’t continue sharing.
