Going to a couple’s counselor or workshop once a year or so is also a good way to keep your relationship healthy. You may not think you need it, but you may be surprised how much closer it brings you. Additionally, reading a relationship book together can also help you to maintain your relationship. [1] X Research source
A good rule of thumb for alone time is to take a day for yourself between every couple of days you spend together. [2] X Research source
Try to plan a standing weekly date with your girlfriend doing something you both enjoy. Of course, this may translate to binge-watching House of Cards on Netflix. If that works for you, that’s cool. But try to do something outside the house sometimes, if possible. For instance, you might work out together in the gym, go for a hike on weekends, visit local art galleries or museums, read the same book, or join a couple’s social group.
Notice what your girlfriend responds to and do more of that. You might also ask, “What kinds of things turn you on?” or something of that nature. Establish enthusiastic consent with your girlfriend by asking “Do you like that?” or “Is this okay?” If she responds favorably, keep it coming. If she says no, or seems ambivalent, stop. Have an attitude of acceptance and communication when it comes to sexual activity. Openly share what you like and don’t like, and encourage her to do the same.
State your needs using non-defensive “I” statements, like “I need you to trust me. I feel like you don’t respect my privacy. I would appreciate it if you didn’t go through my phone. “[4] X Research source
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t defend yourself. But allow her to get her feelings off of her chest before you state your point. Your sign of respect might encourage her to do the same for you. [5] X Research source
Encourage her to reach her dreams and do what you can to support her while she is. Applaud her successes, and bolster her confidence when she is struggling. Be present at important events and occasions to cheer her on. [6] X Research source If she’s sad and down, cheer her up by being there for her, listening actively and not judging her.
Walk away from the argument if you feel you are about to say something hurtful. Simply tell her you need to take a break for a moment and go cool down. Doing so could help to keep your relationship intact. [7] X Research source
However, this doesn’t mean you should let go of your non-negotiables. Simply try to come up with an agreement that you can both live with. For instance, she may have her nose in her smart phone all night while you just want to spend quality time. Suggest that you set a designated time aside—for instance, one hour—where you both turn off your phones. [8] X Research source
The only compromises that you should ask of your girlfriend and she should ask of you are ones that make you better and grow as a couple. Compromises that make you feel bad about yourself and negatively affect your life are typically unfair to ask of one another. [10] X Research source
