It is also best to start with people who are not intimidating to you, such as friends or parents. If you’re talking to someone really attractive or powerful you’re less likely to feel comfortable looking them in the eye. [2] X Research source
Rotate between the three points every five seconds or so. [4] X Research source
Replacing eye contact with non-verbal cues is a great way to assure the other person you are paying attention.
When you are talking or listening to someone and you catch yourself looking over their head or off into the distance, force yourself to reinitiate eye contact.
Nose Mouth Hairline/eyebrows Chin Neckline/shirt area, unless they are wearing a low-cut shirt General direction
Recognize that eye contact is rude in some disability subcultures. Autistic people and some others find eye contact alarming and upsetting,[8] X Research source which means it hinders a conversation instead of helping. If you’re talking to someone who avoids eye contact, it’s polite to look elsewhere, such as at their hands or their shirt, so they can be comfortable.
Try looking at one person per sentence and then switching when you start your next sentence. [10] X Research source
If making eye contact with so many people makes you nervous, try looking at the tops of their heads. From a short distance, they can’t tell the difference. People will naturally have different opinions on what you are saying but maintaining eye contact is important regardless of what they think. This establishes a subconscious connection[12] X Research source that is vital in social situations.
Giving positive feedback during the conversation is very helpful. For example, if the person tells you something say “oh, interesting. Can you tell me more?"[13] X Research source
You don’t only have to use stories from your own life as you make conversation. Don’t be afraid to talk about anecdotes that you read or heard from someone else. This will show that you are willing to pay attention to and talk about topics other than yourself.
For example, say something like “it was good talking to you, we should hang out again sometime”, or “hope to chat again soon”. [15] X Research source This will end the conversation on a positive and comfortable note.
Talking about sports is a good example of polite disagreement. Someone might say, I think this player is the best player in the league right now. If you don’t agree you can say something like, “I’m not so sure, have you seen this other player play? He is having a really good year this year. I think he may have passed your player by. " This is a polite way of disagreeing that will spark debate without offending the person. [17] X Research source
