For example, you could ask a friend to grade you, or rate you on your hug. You can make a game out of it and make it easier for your friend to give you a bad, but honest assessment. Hearing from your friend that your hug is a D-plus or a 3 is easier to swallow than “That was a terrible hug, yuck. ” Ask how you can improve. They may give you some useful feedback like, “Don’t be so stiff,” or “Come closer, because you feel really far away. ”
Take a deep breath and exhale. [1] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Medical School Harvard Medical School’s Educational Site for the Public Go to source Get the tension out of your arms by consciously tensing them up, holding the tension for a few seconds, and then relaxing. Your arms will feel more relaxed. You can try this technique with your whole body as well. [2] X Research source Don’t put pressure on yourself to “get it right. ” It’s just a hug! If you are hugging someone, it’s presumably because you care about them. Chances are they care about you, too, and won’t judge you on how you do it.
Shaking hands Touching other person’s upper arm Putting your arm around them (AKA the side hug) Putting one arm around their shoulders while facing them Full hug
Reduce stress. [3] X Research source Hugs trigger your brain to produce oxytocin, which helps you feel relaxed and thus, less stressed. [4] X Research source Keep you healthy. Stress taxes your immune system. If you are receiving hugs, you are reducing your stress level. Because you are feeling less stressed, you are less likely to get sick. [5] X Research source Help you feel connected to others. Oxytocin is known as “the bonding hormone,” which is the same hormone triggered in new mothers following the birth of a baby. Hugs help you feel that others are supporting you and reduce the feeling of loneliness, itself a stressor. [6] X Research source
Face the person who wants to hug you and smile. Hold your arms out at your sides, ready to receive a hug. Don’t cross your arms or keep them straight at your sides.
When hugging, try to tilt your head in the opposite direction to the person. If they turn their head to the left, go right. Otherwise you’ll end up bumping heads, and that’s super awkward. When you put your arms around them, try not to stick your elbows out awkwardly. It feels more natural to the person being hugged to have your elbows closer toward them. A hug doesn’t have to be long. A few seconds is completely appropriate.
Giving the person a quick, tighter squeeze, then backing out of the hug. Stepping back and briefly putting your hands on the person’s upper arms as you back out. Transition to a sideways hug and pull away.
When you see someone approaching with their arms out, offer your hand to shake instead. Most of the time, people will pick up on this nonverbal cue. Put your hand up in front of you (like you’re telling someone to wait) and say, “You might not want to hug me, I’m just getting over a terrible cold. ” Make a joke out of it. “I’m the world’s worst hugger, you don’t want to hug me!” and pull back. Just get hugged for a second and pull away quickly.
