There are two types of empathy: cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. Cognitive empathy involves the ability to logically understand someone else’s perspective by seeing things from their point of view. You may not have a strong emotional reaction to another person’s perspective, but you will at least understand it to a degree. Emotional empathy involves being able to pick up on the emotions of others. If someone gets bad news, for example, you will feel sad. [1] X Research source Consider whether you possess either type of empathy. Do you try to understand another person’s point of view when they’re explaining something to you? Do you make a conscious effort to ask questions, understand information, and listen? When another person is sad or frustrated, do you experience the same emotions? Can you easily pick up on how a person is feeling? If a friend or co-worker looked upset, would you feel compelled to ask them what’s wrong?[2] X Research source Oftentimes, insensitive people are simply not tuned in to the needs and emotions of others. Consider how often you actively try to understand the perspective of the other person. If you spend the bulk of your time thinking about yourself, you may be insensitive.

When you’re in a social situation, do people initiate conversation with you? If you’re the one usually starting a conversation, people might be wary to talk to you because of the way you’re coming off. Do people want to remain engaged in conversation with you or do people tend to make excuses to leave? Do people tend to laugh at your jokes? Oftentimes, insensitive people make jokes that come off the wrong way to others. If people do not laugh, or only offer quiet and somewhat uncomfortable laughter, you may be insensitive. Do people seek you out when they’re in need? If you’re an insensitive person, others might be wary to ask for your help and open up to you about their problems. If you’re consistently the last person in a group to hear about, say, a friend’s divorce or a family member’s job loss, it may be because you consistently say the wrong things in these situations. This is a sign of insensitivity. Has anyone ever outright told you you’re insensitive? While it might seem obvious, many people disregard such criticisms as the result of the hypersensitivity of others. However, if someone’s made the point to call you out on your behavior, or if multiple people have, you may be insensitive.

Talking about a topic that bores others or that others do not understand. For example, going on about the details of your PhD if you know others in the room have no understanding of the subject you took your PhD in. [4] X Research source Sharing opinions at inappropriate times, such as complaining loudly about the obesity epidemic in front of a co-worker you know is struggling with their weight or body image. [5] X Research source Bringing up topics inappropriate for your audience, such as telling stories about recreational drug use in front of your significant other’s parents. [6] X Research source Getting annoyed if someone does not understand a topic you’re explaining. [7] X Research source Passing judgments on others for their mistakes or circumstances without considering their background or personal struggles. [8] X Research source Being rude and demanding to staff at restaurants. [9] X Research source Being too blunt or critical of others. For example, if you dislike an item of clothing on someone you might say, “You look fat in that” rather than avoiding commenting altogether or offering more tactful advice, like, “I think a different color would flatter your features more. “[10] X Research source

Observe people in a crowded place (like a mall, nightclub, or park) and try to identify how they’re feeling. Try using context, body language, and expressions to figure out who is feeling shy, stressed, excited, and so on. [13] X Research source Read up on body language, especially facial expressions, and how it corresponds to different emotions. Sadness, for instance, is characterized by drooping eyelids, a slight pulling down of the lip corners, and a raised inner brow. [14] X Research source Put on a soap opera and try to identify the emotions the actors are portraying. Use context clues, facial expressions, and body language. Mute the television so you can’t get clues from the dialogue. Once you feel you’ve got it down, move on to more subtle dramas in which the actors use nuanced expressions to convey emotion. [15] X Research source

Emotions are essential to making connections with other people and making healthy social interactions. [19] X Research source Remember that emotions are simply part of being human. Even if you don’t understand them or think they’re pointless, be aware that most people don’t feel that way. [20] X Research source Sometimes it’s okay to fake it. You may not understand why someone is upset or overjoyed, but playing along a little bit is sometimes the most sensitive thing you can do. You may not personally feel any joy that your coworker is going to be an aunt, but it shouldn’t cost you much to congratulate her and smile. [21] X Research source

If you are suppressing your emotions to cope with trauma or you are prone to anxiety attacks, you may need a counselor or therapist to help you work through those feelings. [23] X Research source Begin asking yourself, “How am I feeling right now?” throughout the day. Stopping and checking in with yourself can help you begin to identify feelings as they come up. [24] X Research source Identify any devices you use to avoid your emotions, such as: distracting yourself with video games or watching television, focusing only on work, drinking or using other substances, over-intellectualizing the situation, or making jokes about it. [25] X Research source Allow yourself to feel the emotion. When you’re in a safe, private place, don’t suppress your feelings. Allow the emotion to come and try to observe how your body reacts. Making note of these physical changes (like that your eyebrows furrow and your lips narrow when you feel angry) can help you identify the emotions when the reoccur – both in yourself and in other people. [26] X Research source

The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder include a large sense of self importance, the need for recognition or admiration, the need to exaggerate achievements or talents, being envious of others or believing others envy you, and expecting special favors from those around you. People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to think of the world solely in terms of themselves and their own needs. [29] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Basic criticism or setbacks can cause major episodes of depression in those suffering narcissistic personality disorder. This is, in fact, often what first prompts those suffering from the disorder to seek help. However, you do not have to wait that long. If you’re worried you may show symptoms of narcissism, make an appointment with a therapist. [30] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source

You may be autistic if you care deeply about others’ feelings, and hate to see them get upset, but are called insensitive. The “insensitivity” in many autistic people is called by cluelessness, being overwhelmed, and misunderstanding, not by lack of caring. [31] X Research source [32] X Research source Other autism symptoms include strong emotions, stimming (unusual fidgeting), dislike of eye contact, sluggishness, passionate special interests, need for routine,[33] X Research source and general clumsiness. . [34] X Research source While autism is often identified in childhood, it is possible for symptoms to be looked over or hidden, and some people are not diagnosed until teen or adult years. Talk to a therapist if you think you have symptoms of autism. [35] X Research source

Antisocial personality disorder, which involves an inability to distinguish right from wrong, hostility, aggression, violence, a lack of longterm relationships, unnecessary risk taking behavior, and a sense of superiority. [37] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Borderline personality disorder, which involves difficulty regulating emotions or thoughts, frequently engaging in impulsive and reckless behaviors, and an inability to maintain stable relationships longterm. [38] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source Schizoid and schizotypal personality disorders are defined by a lack of social relations, delusional thought patterns, and excessive social anxiety. [39] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U. S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source