You may even learn more about yourself with this person, as loving them helps reveal truths about you that you might not have noticed before. [2] X Research source If your love is dependent upon the other person acting and speaking how you want, then your feelings are conditional. We often confuse this with love, but this is just positive thoughts about someone. This is loving what a person says or does, not loving them.
If you can’t wait to share good news with them or hear about their day, love is likely growing. [4] X Research source This does not, however, mean that love is completely selfless. You should feel the same connection coming back to you as well.
Judgement, anger, or disrespect for each other’s interests, however, may prevent love from really growing.
This should be different, however, from obsession, when you think of them so much you cannot function on a day-to-day basis. This desire to be with someone sometimes manifests itself as a fear of losing them, which is a natural part of love. [6] X Research source
Love doesn’t go away in an instant after one bad day. It may fade eventually, but it takes a lot of time. Love is a feeling, not an action, so don’t look at what you’re doing as much as what you’re feeling or thinking about.
Love changes and grows with age: 20-somethings who just moved in together may have a different definition than a couple celebrating their 50th anniversary. This doesn’t mean, however, that both couples don’t love each other. If you feel like you are in love, and the feeling lasts several weeks or months, you are likely in love.
There is no “right” amount of time to fall in love, but you do need to be with someone long enough to feel like you understand them. [9] X Research source
Spend time talking together, not just doing activities. You need to be able to listen and share your thoughts in order to maintain love and trust. [11] X Expert Source Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPClinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.
What is there side of the story? Is there something you didn’t realize? Are you mad because of something that happened, or because you got too caught up in the argument? Do you still love and respect them? This is more important than a “winner” of any argument. [12] X Research source
Take some occasional time apart– if you are in love, it will not be destroyed by a few weeks alone. Hang out with your friends, especially friends from before the relationship began. These friendships are not unimportant now that you’re in love. Develop personal hobbies or interests that you can eventually share or use to have “me” time when you need a moment to relax. [15] X Research source
Take a vacation, even if just for a long weekend. Make time to see each other once a week, but make it somewhere new each time. Go to a class or seminar together to pick up a new hobby. Make new friends by inviting other couples over for drinks or dinner. Start a project together, like a book, garden, painting, etc. [17] X Research source
Jealousy is actually healthy in small amounts – it becomes dangerous, however, when it morphs into suspicion. [18] X Research source
Everyone has times they hope to be alone, but this is different from constantly ignoring or regretting the time with the one you love. You should never feel exhausted or sad after spending time together. [20] X Research source
