Give people the benefit of the doubt. If you think you’ve been wronged or mistreated, evaluate the situation from a third-person point of view. Consider that the offending person might not be aware of what they’ve done. Give them the benefit of the doubt and consider they are just unaware. [2] X Research source Alternately, if someone has disappointed you, think about your expectations. Are they realistic? Were your expectations communicated to the other person? It might help to talk to that person, for example, to clarify how the miscommunication happened.
When thinking about an issue that you can’t control, make a list of factors out of your control that impact this issue. For example, if you are having trouble finding a job, think about the downturned economy or the outsourcing of jobs in your industry. Reduce worry by asking yourself if something will matter in an hour or a day from now. [4] X Research source
For example, if you get riled up at the morning traffic, consider controlling your interactions with the traffic by changing the time that you leave in the morning, or taking mass transit. [5] X Research source Don’t give your mind more fodder for stress, anger and frustration. Instead, reduce these things so you can clear your mind.
Make a list of things that are going well for you. Review this list periodically or post it on your fridge as a reminder.
Use a picture to help you visualize what you want. If you need a new or better car, take a picture of your ideal car at a dealership. Tape it to your fridge or bathroom mirror so you can see it every day. Use affirmations to help you visualize your positive outcome. These statements will help you envision achieving what you want to achieve. You might say, “I am running my own successful business and I have lots of happy clients. " Repeat this message to yourself throughout the day to maintain focus and positivity on achieving your positive outcome. [6] X Research source
Try to appreciate and revel in the spontaneity and uncertainty. It can be unnerving, but if you are open to all possibilities, you can start to see where positive developments can happen. [8] X Research source Keep a gratitude journal. Write down a few things every day that you can appreciate about your surroundings or your present life situation. Look over your writing at the end of every week to see how much you have to be grateful for. [9] X Research source
Now open your eyes. Breathe in through your nose. Then breathe out through your mouth. Write a list of the things that are making you angry. These can be large or small; nothing is too insignificant or silly. Remember, this is a time for you to observe and address your anger, rather than hide from it. Choose the top 3 things that make you angry, and make a short list of 3 strategies that can help remedy these situations. This will help you take control of your own feelings and make sure you feel empowered to change what you can change.
Recognize your stress, saying, “I am aware of tension in my back. ”[11] X Research source
Take about 30 minutes to listen to your inner thoughts. As your mind wanders, you may begin to hear some negative inner talk, such as “I am a terrible person. I forgot my mother’s birthday. ” Immediately counter that talk with, “That thought doesn’t serve me. Goodbye thought!”[15] X Research source Tell yourself a more positive thought, layered with compassion, to reassure yourself of your value and worth. I have a lot on my plate right now. I’ll make a list so I can keep track of details. ”
Take a minimum of 5 minutes to sit quietly and comfortably. Focus on your breathing, drawing in full, deep breaths through your nose and into your lungs and stomach. Breathe out slowly and deliberately. Count to 4 on the inhale, and count to 4 on the exhale. [19] X Research source Keep your eyes open with a soft focus. You can close your eyes if this feels more comfortable to you. As your mind begins to wander, bring it back to focus on your breathing and to resume counting the breaths.
