Ask yourself if you have done anything new or noteworthy recently. Good news or performance may inspire people to laugh with you, rather than at you. Look at the situation. If you hear actual laughter around you, know that it may have nothing to do with you. A person may be watching an entertaining video on their phone, or they may have seen something funny happening behind you. Check out your surroundings to see if there are other possible sources for laughter. Think about any predisposition you may have to believe that people are mocking you. Do you deal with social anxiety? Have others in your past treated you this way? Evaluate your concerns and make sure they are coming from fact and observation, rather than internally-generated suspicion. [2] X Research source
If you think a friend or peer is laughing at you, ask yourself, “Do I really want to keep a close relationship with this type of person?” If the answer is no, then you can end the friendship. If you find a rival or bully is the one mocking you, pay them no attention. Remove them from your life simply by not feeding their desire to upset you. If they believe their words have lost impact, they will eventually move on.
Someone may mock you because they don’t understand something in your life. Perhaps you are more focused on work or school than they are, or perhaps you have different interests. If someone is mocking you because of something they don’t understand, tell yourself that your choices are valid and they don’t need other’s approval. Say to yourself, “I study to ensure a better future for myself,” or, “This hobby brings me joy and doesn’t harm anyone else. This person simply does not understand why this hobby is meaningful to me. ” Someone may also mock you because they are insecure about something that you are not insecure about. They may not have the guts to wear clothing that is very different from what is trendy, for instance, but you do. Tell yourself, “This person has no power to make me feel bad about something in my life simply because they are insecure. ”
Make it more real in your mind by backing it up with reasons why you genuinely like yourself. Tell yourself something like, “I am intelligent, resourceful, and I can make amazing cookies, and that makes me wonderful. ” Keep repeating this to yourself, no matter how hard or silly it may seem. It may be hard to believe while you are hurting, but the more you say it to yourself the more likely you are to start believing it. Even on days when you don’t hear about someone laughing at you, remind yourself that you are wonderful and others don’t determine how you view yourself.
Talk just the two of you. A large group may create a defensive, emotional situation that brings out more aggression. Let them know that they hurt your feelings laughing at you and you’d like them to not do it again in the future. [5] X Expert Source Katie StyzekProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 26 March 2021. Ask them, “What about me makes you want to laugh at me?” Listen carefully to their answer. It is likely grounded in their own emotions and has little to do with you as a person. Ask your antagonizer, “How do my actions or interests impact your daily life?” Evaluate their answer to see if you really do hurt them in a meaningful way, or, more likely, if you simply confuse them because you are not like them. Understand that annoyance and dislike are subjective. Other people will have different views of you. Just because your antagonizer doesn’t know how to handle their opinion properly doesn’t mean that you are bad or have done anything wrong.
Ask a friend to be your go-to person when you think you are being laughed at. Let them know that you don’t need them to solve any problems for you and that you simply want to be able to vent about the stress your antagonizers cause. If your friend is around during an attack from your antagonizers, engage with them instead to distract yourself. Start a conversation about something you both enjoy, or ask them, “How is your day going so far?”
Find a therapist or counselor that specializes in dealing with trauma from bullying or social anxiety. Find affordable, professional help by working with educational clinics at local colleges or sliding scale practitioners in your area.
Allow your laughter to be genuine. Others might be looking to hurt you, but you do not need to hurt yourself. Instead, think to yourself, “It is funny that they find my passion dorky because when I do well at the things I love, I feel like the coolest person in the world. ” Try to let their comments roll off your shoulders. If, for example, your antagonizer claims something you like is nerdy, simply smile and say, “I guess that makes me a nerd,” and walk away.
Accept that you are upset. It’s okay and understandable to be hurt when someone laughs at you. [8] X Expert Source Katie StyzekProfessional School Counselor Expert Interview. 26 March 2021. Instead of saying to yourself, “Whatever, it’s fine, I don’t care,” simply acknowledge your feelings by saying, “I feel really sad and betrayed right now. " Focus on the present. Reliving the moment and ruminating on what happened can prolong your pain. Instead of thinking, “I can’t believe they laughed at me. I’m so embarrassed. It ruined my whole day and I hate that it ruined my day. They’re such jerks,” try to just acknowledge what you’re feeling. Say, “Okay, I’m thinking about it again. It’s making me feel sick to my stomach to think about it, and my face feels hot. But I’m on my way to guitar practice now, and I’m going to focus on my lesson and playing well. I’m bringing my attention to what is happening right now, not what happened this morning. " Try not to judge yourself for feeling hurt or engage in negative self-talk. [9] X Research source
If you are in school, speak with a teacher you trust. See if they would be willing to set up a meeting with you and your antagonizers after school and moderate the situation. A school counselor may also be of help. If an antagonizer is impacting your ability to do your job, let your supervisor know immediately and ask them for help.
Choose to treat yourself with kindness and compassion. You have control over what your self-talk sounds like, and it’s important that you behave like your own best friend. If you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, challenge it. You can also control your own actions, how you treat others, and what you will accept from other people. You can choose to show the people who laugh at you kindness despite their rude behavior. You can also choose to walk away from their taunts.
Try joining school groups or local meetups to meet people with the same interests as you. Look at options like book clubs and dinner groups to meet other people outside of your established social network. Spend more time with the people who have supported and helped you. Focus on bettering your friendships with them rather than surrounding yourself with new people.
Look at your antagonizer’s insecurities, and offer to help them address them. If, for example, your antagonizer laughs at you for getting good grades or caring too much about your job, offer to help them study or get started on a work project.
