Express your concerns to your parents soon after a problem occurs. You want to be able to talk to them when an incident is fresh in your mind. Do not sit and stew for a few weeks, as you may forget necessary details. Your parents may be skeptical at first. Try not to take this personally. This is not because they don’t care, but because children frequently feel teachers dislike them or are mean to them. Try to explain the specifics of what happened. Tell them what your teacher said as well as her tone of voice. [2] X Research source Your parents will want to know all the facts. They’ll probably ask you a lot of questions about the incident or incidents. Try to answer their questions calmly, even though you may feel stressed out. Your parents might want to schedule a meeting with your teacher in order to assess the situation. [3] X Research source
In some cases, your teacher may be unwilling to address the problem with your parents. In this case, your parents may have to report the problem to the school’s principal. Having others back up their claims can help them make their case.
Try to follow any classroom rules. Do your homework on time, do not talk in class, and follow instructions during activities. Also, look for opportunities to help your teacher—is there any way you can build a better relationship with them?[6] X Expert Source César de León, M. Ed. Educational Leadership Consultant Expert Interview. 11 November 2019. Pay attention to whether there’s anything that you or your classmates are doing to trigger the teacher. Is anyone pushing their buttons when they start yelling?[7] X Expert Source César de León, M. Ed. Educational Leadership Consultant Expert Interview. 11 November 2019. Keep in mind some teachers just yell, regardless of how you’re behaving. Such behaviors should be reported to your principal. Your parents should be able to handle this for you. However, in the meantime continue behaving respectfully. You want to be the bigger person in this scenario to avoid giving your teacher an excuse for his or her behavior.
You might not find a solution talking but mutual complaining can help you get through the day. Leaving your feelings bottled up can make them worse. Be careful where you vent. You want to avoid complaining about a teacher on school grounds as you may be overheard. This can make the problem worse.
If your child says something like “My teacher was mean to me today,” try to get him to unpack that statement. Press him for details. Say something like, “What exactly did your teacher say? What was happening at the time?"[9] X Research source Children do exaggerate, especially when feeling miffed or wronged. “Mean” may simply mean the teacher scolded your child for doodling on his worksheet instead of completing his math problems. However, press for more clarification to be sure. Ask about the teacher’s tone and her exact words. Even if your child was misbehaving, if his teacher raised her voice and used belittling language, this is a problem. [10] X Research source For example, your child may say, “She told me I was being a little brat and yelled at me to get back to work. " While your child was misbehaving, his teacher is the adult in the situation. Her response was not appropriate.
Check your facts. Your child may be exaggerating. You may want to call another mother and ask her to get her child’s account of what happened. [11] X Research source Talk to other parents. Some teachers have a bad reputation. If other parents have had an issue with this teacher, chances are your child is not exaggerating the situation. [12] X Research source
Start off the meeting by saying something like, “My child seems to be having trouble in your classroom. I’m not sure I completely understand what’s been happening, but I’m hoping we can work together to find a solution. “[13] X Research source Even if you are calm and respectful during the confrontation, the teacher may get defensive. Many people do not take well to criticism, especially if they’re frustrated or overworked. Stay calm if your teacher gets defensive. You do not want to escalate the discussion to the point it’s no longer productive. [14] X Research source
You may find the teacher simply does not know how to deal with your child. You could offer her some insight on how to help your child behave better in the classroom. Say something like, “I know Isaac struggles to concentrate, but I think sometimes reminding him gently is more effective than scolding. It seems to work at home. “[15] X Research source Also the teacher could just simply be a little grouchy and blunt and your child may be taking this personally. If this is the case, you can say something to your child like, “Mrs. Donahue simply has a different way of communicating than Mommy and Daddy do. It doesn’t have anything to do with you. Just try to behave in her class. “[16] X Research source Ultimately, strive to leave the conversation with some ideas about how to move forward. Hopefully, your teacher will take your feedback as a learning experience and be better equipped to deal with your child.
You should only take this step in extreme situations. Even if your child does not like his teacher, chances are he’ll survive the experience. You can take this as a learning opportunity. You can teach your child that life is harsh and unfair sometimes, but you have to learn to cope. [18] X Research source However, in certain situations it’s important to report the problem. If you’re teacher is yelling at students and using name-calling or derogatory language, this is a form of bullying. It’s inappropriate and could turn your child and other students off of school altogether. A problem like this should be reported. [19] X Research source
Try to be as positive about the situation as you can. Remember, teachers are humans, and they have emotions, too. [20] X Expert Source César de León, M. Ed. Educational Leadership Consultant Expert Interview. 11 November 2019. It may help to recruit other parents. If this teacher is a problem in general, having others to back you up can help. The principal will see it’s not just a problem with your student. Be firm. For a variety of reasons, your principal may be hesitant to handle the situation. You need to make it clear that you’ll continue to raise concerns until the problem is resolved. Explain, firmly, that you’re worried about other students in addition to your own child. [21] X Research source
