Say, “I don’t feel like I can talk about this right now without getting upset. Let me have a few hours to calm down and then let’s talk this through. ”
For example, he might say that he wants to spend more time pursuing his own hobbies, but you feel threatened when he chooses to spend time away from you. This might be hard to hear, but listen quietly and try to understand his feelings. Don’t interrupt him; wait until he’s done to tell him how you feel. Stay calm and don’t get defensive. Both of your feelings are valid; allow him space to express his before you try to refute them. Remember, if your boyfriend felt comfortable enough to ask you for more space, it may be a sign that he trusts you.
It’s likely that your boyfriend just needs a little more time to himself. Maybe he wants to play video games with his friends once a week or not feel pressured to text you every few hours. It’s also possible he wants to take a longer-term break. Ask him to be honest and specific. Say, “What kind of space can I give you? What do you need from me?” Many healthy couples take time for themselves. Remember that this isn’t his attempt to escape or break up with you; this is something you can do with him to make your relationship stronger. If he wanted to break up, he probably would. [3] X Research source
For example, if he wants to spend time with his friends a few times a week, ask if he can start with just once a week. Make the next night your “date” night, where you’ll spend time with only each other, so you can get the one-on-one time you want. You can negotiate with him. For example, if he wants 4 hours of alone time a day, ask him if you can start with just 2 hours. Perhaps you can adjust this time based on both of your needs later on.
Remind yourself that you want your boyfriend to be happy, and this is something you can do to make him happier in your relationship. This is a way to strengthen your bond and remind both of you how much you care for each other. Keep in mind that a strong relationship needs a balance between the time you spend together and the time you spend apart. Spending some time alone is not a bad thing.
If you often text him 7-10 times a day, ask yourself what you’re looking for from those texts. Do you want reassurance that he’s thinking about you? Are you trying to make sure he’s not having too much fun without you? Although it was your boyfriend that asked for this space, you can use it to learn a little more about yourself and your habits too.
Giving him space means letting him live some of his life with other people, while remembering that he cares deeply about you and isn’t leaving you behind.
Devoting time to yourself and your own unique passions can remind you that you can still have a your own life, even when you’re in a relationship.
You might be surprised at how well you were able to adapt to giving your boyfriend some space, or you might have felt lonely and unhappy during the trial run. Be honest with your boyfriend about how you feel and start working towards something that works for both of you. Realize that it may take some experimenting at first. This is normal. Don’t be afraid to adjust your parameters based on what works for you as a couple.
Do your best to stick to these boundaries. This will show your boyfriend that you understand his concerns, take them seriously, and want to work to make your relationship better.
If he wants to take a longer break, lasting for a few months, you may want to sit down for a longer talk about your relationship. This could be a symptom of deeper problems in your relationship.
If he’s unsure of where your relationship is heading and needs to decide if this is what he really wants, he might want to see other people. If he wants the time to reflect deeply and individually on your relationship, it might make less sense for him to date other people.
Ask him how he is and how the break went for him. Avoid being overbearing with your enthusiasm. Instead of saying, “I missed you so much, I thought about you every minute!”, try, “I’m so happy to be with you again! I really missed you. ”
