A break in the conversation could be any moment when time seems to pause. You can take advantage of these moments, if you’ve been meaning to hug someone. You don’t need a reason to hug someone, but your hug should be in context. It should feel natural to initiate a hug at this time. A transition could be anything that begins or ends an interaction. You might hug your friend when you meet her, or hug her when she leaves. Hug to mark that something is beginning or ending. A poignant moment could be any experience in which you and another person (or people) have shared powerful emotions. Hug a friend after he shares a deep and emotional story; hug your sister when her boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with her. Use hugs to acknowledge that a moment was significant and bring it to a beautiful end. Hugging culture and etiquette really depends on where you live. On the West Coast of the US, hugging is a pretty standard way of saying hello even if you don’t know someone all that well. [2] X Research source [v160969_b01]. 11 April 2019. Meanwhile, on the East Coast, hugging is a pretty strange sign that’s only reserved for very close loved ones. [3] X Research source [v160969_b01]. 11 April 2019.
Wait for a cue. If you aren’t sure, wait until the person you want to hug extends his or her arms. This is a safe strategy – but you may also consider how much you can brighten someone’s day by initiating the hug yourself. If the person doesn’t step into your hug, then don’t force it. Lower your arms and try to back off gracefully. Let it go.
Know when you don’t need to ask. In most cases, you don’t need to announce your hug – especially if you know someone well, or if you have hugged before. Bear in mind that the hug will likely feel more natural if you just do it.
The bear hug: Throw all of yourself into each hug. Hold tight and be loving. Rest your head on your hugging partner’s chest or shoulder. Unabashedly show your love. The side-hug: This approach is subtle and low-commitment. Sidle up next to someone and reach out with one arm. Slide your arm around their shoulder (if you’re taller) or around their back, below their arm (if you’re shorter). Face the same direction as your hugging partner, squeeze their shoulder gently, and let go when it feels appropriate. The bro-hug: This is a casual hug between friends, characterized by a quick and low-contact embrace. Keep your butt out, lean in, and pat your friend on the back 1-3 times. Try leaning forward from a handshake into a quick, one-armed back-pat.
Most people appreciate a good hug. If you are genuine and comforting in your hugs, people will notice. Don’t be afraid to share your love! This is especially important if you’re hugging to comfort someone. The warmer you come across, the more loved your hugging partner will feel.
Hugging female relatives should be mostly the same. Hug your mom like you’d hug your grandmother like you’d hug your sister. Hugging male relatives can depend on the context and the relative; some men may prefer a handshake, if you’re a male. Understand how people hug in your family. Some families are big on hugging, while others tend to keep physical contact at a minimum. Watch how your other family members act with one another, then play to this hugging pattern to make sure that your relatives feel comfortable.
Girls: Close your eyes and think about how much you appreciate your friend. Hold as tight as you like, but be careful not to squish your friend. Avoid patting your hugging partner on the shoulders: some girls may think that you don’t like them if you pat them on the back without getting deep into a hug. Guys: Embrace each other firmly, and slap each other on the upper back or shoulders. If you’re having an emotional moment, hold the hug for a brief moment and do not clap each others backs. Be careful who you hug: some guys are very uncomfortable with male-on-male hugs, but others have no such qualms.
A hug can be a great way to acknowledge that the two of you have just shared a moment. Maybe you’ve just confessed your love; maybe you caught each other staring; maybe you just feel particularly loving today.
To take a more traditionally masculine role: Embrace your hugging partner around the waist, with your hands meeting in the small of his/her back. Keep them in that position for no more than a couple seconds, and let go as soon as they do. Look them in the eyes when you separate, then continue the conversation naturally. To take a more traditionally feminine role: Put your arms around your hugging partner’s neck and shoulders. Press your chest lightly against his/her chest. Let go as soon as he/she does. There is nothing wrong, however, with simply wrapping your arms around your partner’s midriff. [10] X Research source
If you’re feeling playful, try covering the person’s eyes and saying “Guess who?” Bear in mind that not everyone likes surprises, especially where the eyes are concerned. Use your best judgment.
