Remember, you are a worthy person. If your sibling is putting you down or trying to make you feel bad, this is their problem and not yours. Stooping to your sibling’s level, while tempting, is not going to help the problem. Do not return insults with insults. Simply ignore the aggressor. Try your best not to let your sibling know your feelings are hurt. While it’s perfectly appropriate to be hurt if someone is being mean to you, if your sibling is trying to hurt you they will thrive on you getting upset. Simply ignoring your sibling is a better option.
Remember, you have a right to be respected in your home. Your sibling’s teasing is violating that right. It is appropriate to be assertive and stand up for yourself. As stated, you do not want to stoop to your sibling’s level and return insults with insults. However, it is appropriate to respond to defend yourself against insults. If your sibling is relentless, tell them firmly why what they’re saying is not okay. For example, if your sibling is teasing you about a shirt you’re wearing say something like, “It’s my shirt and I like it. That’s all that should matter. You making fun of me isn’t going to change how I dress. "
Let’s go back to the shirt example. If your sibling keeps telling you the shirt is ugly, say something like, “I guess I just like ugly clothes. Oh, well. Bad taste isn’t the worst thing in the world!”
I statements begin with “I feel. " After stating “I feel” you will describe your emotion and then explain the behavior that leads you to feel this way. Using “I” statements can help with conflict as they can feel less judgmental. You’re not making a sweeping judgment about the situation or placing blame on one person. Instead, you’re just stating how the situation makes you feel. For example, don’t say, “You’re inconsiderate when you talk over me and put me down about not finishing my homework. " Rephrase this using an “I” statement. Say something like, “I feel upset when you lecture me about my homework because it adds to my stress level. "
List past times where you both have argued and/or when your siblings will not stop talking. Create a long list, then cross off any minor incidents. Focus on the major incidents, such as when your siblings drove you to have a headache, or interrupted a major engagement by talking. Also, think of what you want to accomplish by talking to your siblings. Where do you hope to go after the conversation? What do you want your sibling to take away from this discussion? What do you want your sibling to take away from the conversation?[4] X Research source
Turn off the television, and make sure you are not using your phones or computers. Technology can create distractions and take away from what you have to say. Use a comfortable place like a bedroom, or a living room. These can help because they have comfy seats, and can make the confrontation more relaxed. Make sure you pick a time to talk that works for both of you. Do not schedule a talk if your sibling only has an hour before work. Choose a time that’s open ended, like shortly after dinner on a weeknight.
Remember, no put downs or insults. You want to remain as respectful as possible to resolve the situation. Name calling can derail productive dialogue. [7] X Research source
Celebrate your differences. As conflicts sometimes come up due to individual differences, learn to value your sibling’s input. Agree to disagree on certain topics. You can also take your differences in opinion as an opportunity to learn about another’s point of view. Take a genuine interest in where your sibling is coming from and why.
