Bring it up at a random time so they won’t become suspicious of your questions. Listen, and don’t try to interject unless they ask you a question. You can start the conversation by saying something like “When did you start dating?” or “How did you meet dad?”
The more that you understand why your parents are so opposed to dating, the more you’ll understand ways to change their mind or ease their concerns. [2] X Research source Sometimes your parents don’t want you to date because of your cultural background or religious reasons. In these cases, it may be harder (or impossible) to change their mind. [3] X Research source Saying things like “times have changed” may not be the best way to persuade your parents, even though it may be true. If possible, try to engage in face-to-face conversations when it’s a sensitive subject. So much more information can be exchanged through face-to-face conversations, and this can help generate more understanding and empathy for one another, especially when sharing potentially triggering information.
Discuss things that you parents want you to do in order to date and make sure to put effort towards them. If you really want to date and really like the person you want to date, you’ll do what it takes. If dating is dominating your mind and taking you away from your responsibilities, try to get better at a hobby or sport to sharpen your focus. Don’t talk about how you will change, show your parents through your actions.
You can bring the person up before you tell your parents you want to date them. Say something like “There’s a person at school named (insert name here) and they are top of the class. " The more you talk about your relationship or your desire to date, the more your parents will want to be involved in a positive way. Things that you might find cool about the person are the same things you parents might disapprove of, so it’s important to understand what they want to hear. If the person you are dating is good in school, this is a huge plus for most parents.
Accept their decision and change the subject if you feel the conversation is getting negative or you are getting emotional. Don’t walk away in the middle of a fight or ignore you parents. That shows immaturity. Instead try to resolve the issue but respect their opinion at all times. Say “I understand your perspective but I don’t agree. I love you, so I’ll do what you say, but I’d like to talk about it later when I’m not so emotional please. " You won’t change your parent’s minds in one conversation, it may take a while for them to come around. Don’t ever act snide or sarcastic with you parents because it will damage your chances of them saying yes in the future.
You can start the conversation by saying “I know you told me you disapprove of dating in the past, but I’ve been taking care of all my responsibilities and I want to spend time with this person. You may not think it’s important but it’s really affecting me emotionally and I think I’m emotionally mature enough to start. " Don’t ask them or talk about it every day.
A major reason parents don’t want kids to date is because they are doing poorly in school. The more that you show you can handle your life and your responsibilities, the more you parents will think you can handle dating someone. Maturity also means not arguing or bickering with you parents constantly. Try to go with the flow and make life easy for both of you!
Go beyond the chores. Help your parents out with stuff that takes up their time. If you can gain their respect, they will start to open up about dating. Surprising your parents by taking initiative will always make them happier and possibly more receptive about dating.
Apologize about lying the first time, and tell them that you understand why it was wrong. Convince them by consistently telling the truth even if it doesn’t work in your favor because it will show them that you won’t hide things from them. Don’t go against them and date behind their back, because it could have bad repercussions down the line and they may restrict you from dating for an even longer time. Sometimes the best way to build trust is to tell your parents something that you did that they will disapprove of. If you show that you’re honest even when it looks bad, they’ll start to think that you’ll always be honest with them. It might be hard to keep truthful if you parents punish you every time you do something wrong, but it’s the only way to build their trust.
There is usually a good reason your parents don’t want you to date, so don’t dismiss their opinions immediately. Be honest with yourself about dating. Even though you may really like a person, it doesn’t mean you are ready to date. [8] X Research source
If your parents don’t want you to date and your date leaves a negative impression, it may hurt your chances in the future. Think about how this person acts around older people and teachers and you can assume the behavior may be similar.
If you get in trouble with your “friend” then your parents may get a negative impression and restrict you from dating them. Let your parents know they are coming beforehand to avoid an awkward situation.
Some parents look for a strong family behind anyone you’re dating. If this is the case, this approach may win them over. You can do this at a public sporting event or at a show.
You can say “I really like you and want to date you, but I can’t constantly fight with my parents so please act respectful and try to make a good impression when you meet them. " If you understand their perspective, you can relay that onto your date and hopefully they will act appropriate and likable.
