Take some time before initiating the conversation to brainstorm a few ideas to present. Think about if she has a friend or family member she could stay with, or if you’re willing to continue living together until she finds a new living situation. Don’t tell her what to do — rather, offer a few possibilities. Say something like, “I know that we thought that moving in together would be a good idea but it just doesn’t seem to be working. Since the apartment was originally mine, I was thinking it would be best if you were the one to move out. ” You will likely need to have a few conversations about how you will proceed. If the first conversation about moving is taking place right when you break up, it will likely be difficult for her to make decisions. Allow her some time to process and come to terms with what is happening. If there are children involved, this is definitely the preferred method. You should consider the best living situation for the kids. [2] X Research source
To determine if such a financial split is fair or necessary, think about how much the two of you make. If you make the same or more money than her, it might be unreasonable to ask her to bear the entire burden of a move. If she makes considerably more money than you, there may be no need to help financially. Another option is to allow her to continue living with you while she saves up money for a security deposit and other expenses.
If you are breaking up, your physical assistance may not be welcomed. If you are on good terms, however, asking a few friends to help out may make things less awkward and speed up the process.
Once you’ve been clear, you might want to be absent from the home a little more. Give her the time/space to move out, and avoid falling back into your previous relationship roles. [6] X Research source If she keeps pushing the issue, gently remind her that you’ve made up your mind and you are no longer willing to discuss it.
If your girlfriend is refusing to accept the breakup, then moving out may be the best solution. Decide if keeping the place yourself is worth this dragging out.
If she does have rights to stay (e. g. she is on the lease), you might still consider giving her a written request to leave. This will give you proof of an exact date that she was asked to leave if things go to court. Most states require you to give a certain amount of notice when you ask someone to move out, such as 30 days. Follow your state’s eviction laws to ensure things go smoothly and you don’t run into legal trouble down the line.
Make sure you are never alone with your girlfriend and change the locks once she has moved out.
If she is on the lease or deed, the police are unlikely to remove her from the house.
