Timing is important. Don’t pressure him to move in early on in the relationship and try to bring up the conversation without conflict. Allot a significant amount of time to this conversation. Not only will you have many things to discuss, but it will also demonstrate the conversation’s importance. Start the conversation by expressing your satisfaction with the relationship and describing what you would like to continue, such as “I love spending time with you and I want to do more of it. ”
Give serious thought as to why you want to move in together. If it’s about finances, make a budget with both of your incomes. If it’s about moving toward marriage or partnership explain how you see moving in together is a step in the right direction. Try to give specific examples, like “We could both save so much money by sharing rent,” or “I really want marriage and children in the future, and living together is the next step in realizing that goal. ”
Use “I” statements when describing what you think is missing from your relationship. Instead of saying something like “You do not spend enough time with me” try something closer to “I think our relationship could benefit from us spending more time together. ”
If you both have different ideas of what your future holds, as in one of you wants a long-term cohabiting relationship and the other doesn’t, then it might be best to end the relationship sooner than later. [3] X Research source
Avoid pressuring him into “wanting” to live together. Cohabitation is a big commitment and should be a mutual decision. Respecting your boyfriend’s space does not mean forgetting about moving in together. Be sure to set a time to return to the conversation after he’s had time to think about it.
Lay out all of your financial information: credit score, credit card debt or student loans, income, assets, and other financial obligations. [5] X Research source Discuss how the rent and bills will be divided. Remember, fair is not always equal.
Have him bring hygiene products, a change of clothes, and items he might need for work so that he does not need to go back to his house or apartment before starting his day.
Make sure that at least some of the nights he is spending at your apartment are work nights so that he can begin to get a feel for his new routine. Try giving him a task, like DIY repairs or rearranging the furniture, so that he can feel he has an active role in your house or apartment.
If he doesn’t already have a key to your apartment, try to give it to him in a fun or meaningful way, like while on a date or a “special” delivery at work.
