Choose a place that you both feel comfortable in. For example, if you both like the forest, you could go on a hike. Even if you both may like to hang out in noisy environments, they are not a good choice because they’ll make it hard to each one another.
This will help you get a general feel for the major events that occurred while he was growing up. It may even help you understand some of his quirks. Be prepared for him to ask things about your childhood in return!
Ask him what his ideal job or college would look like. You might say something like “So, tell me about your job now. What do you like best about it? And what do you wish you could change?”
For example, find out if he wants to further his education, join the military, or travel overseas.
You can try saying “When I was a kid, I remember reading To Kill a Mockingbird and it really changed my life. Do you have any books that affected you like that?”
Pay attention to the nonverbal cues he gives as well, such as smiling, frowning, or fidgeting. Respect his privacy if he doesn’t want to talk about certain topics. Use follow up questions to gently dig deeper, once you know that he feels comfortable talking about a particular topic (e. g. , Say, “Really? Tell me more. ”).
For example, when talking about his childhood, you can also talk about your own. If he recalls a time he got in a fight with his sister, you can say “I used to fight with my brother all the time, too! Mom and Dad were always grounding us that. ”
For example, if he gets on a rollercoaster, and then gets very anxious or frustrated, this could indicate that he’s not a person who handles fear well. He might also react to an adventure positively and the two of you may have a lot of fun.
He might not like the food very much, which is fine, as long as he’s honest about it. On the other hand, complaining repeatedly about the food isn’t a good sign either. If he doesn’t like the food you chose, let him choose the food next time!
Notice how your boyfriend responds in situations where he is a rookie. Does he get frustrated and give up? Or does he laugh at his mistakes and try to have fun?
You can also do something that is a team effort like a puzzle, escape room or even a DIY project. See if he leads, follows, doesn’t help at all, or takes over completely.
Does he gossip or speak badly about friends? If so, he might speak badly about you, as well. Is he kind to waiters when you’re out to eat or is he rude to them? An ideal partner is one who treats all people well, regardless of their social status.
Before you judge, learn some of his history with his family. For instance, if they’ve been abusive or neglectful in the past, this could explain why he is cold to them.
If your family did not like him because of his race, religion, or social status, you can disregard what they say. These things should not matter. If your family did not like him because he seemed manipulative, then you might want to ask them more questions as this could hurt you in the long run.
For instance, your boyfriend might’ve done something nice for your friend while you were in the restroom that they’ll want to tell you about.
As a bonus, they will also likely tell you some embarrassing stories about your boyfriend!
