You might say, “I just don’t think we are into the same things anymore. I don’t feel like we are compatible friends. ” You might say, “I don’t like who I am when I’m around you. I feel like we bring out the worst in each other. ” You might say, “I just can’t forgive you for what happened, and I think it’s best if we don’t speak anymore. ”
If it helps, you can bring an outline of important things to say on an index card. This may seem silly or impersonal, but it can very difficult to remember everything during a tense conversation.
Be as clear as you can. You might say, “To be completely honest, I do not see us ever becoming friends again, and I’d rather not have any contact with you. ” You might say, “I think we just need some time to heal. Maybe we can try talking again in a month or two. ” You might say, “If we run into each other at a party, of course we can talk and hang out, but I just don’t see us spending time together one-on-one. ”
Once you have said what you needed to say, and taken a moment to respectfully listen to them, you are free to walk away. If you’ve already made up your mind, there is no need to argue.
Why don’t you like me? Why don’t you want to hang out with me anymore? Is there something I did that made you upset? What about our mutual friends?
If you go to the same school, keep yourself busy with your schoolwork. If the person approaches you in class or after class, say that you’re in a rush and a little stressed about your work. If you’re at a party, offer to help out at the party, or excuse yourself to go say hello to someone else, if you see the person. If you do end up talking to them, have a light conversation that is not filled with deep or emotional topics. You can also invite a third person into any conversation.
“Thanks for thinking of me, but I can’t make it that day. " “No, but thank you for inviting me. " “Thanks, but I’m not a huge fan of that activity. "
Examples of things you might say include: “I think our friendship is growing apart, and maybe we should let it. " “I just don’t feel that we are compatible as friends anymore. " “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to spend time together. "
Generate a pro/con list, listing good aspects and bad aspects of the friendship. Be sure to focus on the present relationship, not the way it “used to be. ”
You feel drained after spending time with them. You don’t like the way you act in their company. There is no balance. Either they ignore you, or they want way too much attention. They make you feel bad or try to manipulate you. You’ve lost respect for them.
