The fact that you even get embarrassed is a great way to connect you to other people, as it’s something almost everyone has likely experienced at some point in their life. [2] X Research source Stocks, E. L. , Lishner, D. A. , Waits, B. L. , & Downum, E. M. (2011). I’m Embarrassed for You: The Effect of Valuing and Perspective Taking on Empathic Embarrassment and Empathic Concern. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 41(1), 1–26. If you are willing to laugh at yourself, an embarrassing moment can serve as a great jumping off point to sparking interesting conversations or making new friends. You can also try making the situation funny. If you approach the situation with good humor, it will become less embarrassing and more like a light joke. For example, if you fall off your chair, say something like, “I do all my own stunts!”
For example, you could say, “I’m sorry I’ve been calling you Shawn. I have been thinking about a good friend of mine who is going through a rough time, and I’m a little distracted. ”
It’s likely the case that you are much more critical of yourself than anyone else. Psychologists have found that in cases of anxiety or embarrassment, people tend to become overly preoccupied with themselves to the extent that they greatly overestimate how much everyone else is actually paying attention to them. [8] X Research source With this in mind, if an embarrassing moment happened to you, it’s probably the case that anyone who was around you was paying more attention to themselves than to you.
For example, if you get overly embarrassed after failing at something you are typically very good at, you might be setting overly high expectations for yourself. In each moment of embarrassment, reflect on what your emotion can tell you about your expectations of yourself and others in general.
If you can’t seem to simply shake off embarrassing emotions when they arise, and they seem to be coming up for you a lot, consider taking steps towards treating yourself for anxiety.
Sit quietly for 10-15 minutes, breathing deeply. Focus on your breath. Acknowledge each thought as it enters your mind. Identify the emotion that you’re feeling. Say to yourself, “I feel embarrassment. " Accept the emotions that you’re feeling, tell yourself, “I can accept my embarrassment. " Acknowledge that this is a temporary feeling. Say to yourself, “I know this feeling is temporary. It will subside. What do I need for myself right now?” Give yourself space and validation for your feelings, but recognize that your thoughts and responses may distort the reality of the situation. Bring your attention and awareness back to your breath. As further thoughts pass through your mind, repeat the process to acknowledge them and let them go. You can also search online for guided mindfulness meditation exercises.
