”It seems like you are upset. I’d rather not fight about this over text message. ” ”I’m not going to fight with you over the phone. ” ”It’s not going to be helpful to do this over text. ”
”Let’s talk about this face to face instead. ” ”I want to make sure I give this the attention it deserves. When can we meet to talk about it?” ”I’m confused, let’s meet up and talk. ” ”Let me know when you are ready to talk about this in person. ”
Sending meme reaction pictures. Responding with only emojis. Name calling, cursing, or blaming language.
If it becomes distracting or begins to interfere with you life, consider blocking their number for a while. [3] X Research source
Don’t start text fights yourself. If you instigate a text fight with a friend, that sends the message that fighting over text is okay. If something upsets you give yourself some time to process it, and talk to them about it in person. Set up a “no fight over text” rule in your friendship. Talk to your friend about it. Make an agreement that your friendship is too important to let text fighting get in the way. Remind each other of that rule when necessary. If you have a friend who repeatedly fights with you over text or who does not respect your wishes to talk in person, consider the future of your friendship. Not everyone is ready to be mature about their relationships. You may have to scale back on your friendship with them until they are able to maturely talk about problems that pop up.
Thank them for meeting with you. Even if you didn’t start the fight it sets a good tone for the rest of the talk. Try, “Thanks for meeting with me to talk about this. ” Open the conversation by asking about what happened. “What is going on?” or “What had you so upset the other day?” Explain your side of the situation including your feelings and your actions. “Here’s how I feel about it and why I did what I did. ”[6] X Research source
Make eye contact. Put away all distractions including your phone. Don’t interrupt them. Lean slightly towards them.
If it is a big fight, consider taking some breaks or some time apart to think things through. Offer to come back at a specific date and time to try talking about it and compromising again.
”I did not realize the effect this was having on you. I’m sorry. ” ”I apologize, I did not mean to hurt you. ” ”I hear you. Thank you for talking to me about it. I’m sorry this happened. ” ”I’m sorry we’re fighting. ”
”I’m glad we had this talk. Let’s always try and talk things out face to face. ” ”Thanks for working through this stuff with me. It’s so much better this way than over text. ” ”I really hate fighting over text. Next time, just pull me aside or as to talk to me face-to-face, okay?”
Pause and count to 5 before responding if you are speaking in person. If you are texting, put your phone down and walk away from it for a few minutes. Close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Don’t react or retaliate immediately, give yourself time.
”Okay, things feel a little heated. Let’s take a few minutes and cool down. ” ”I’m getting really frustrated. I’m going to take a short walk to calm down a little bit. ” ”I feel like we are both getting angry and not getting anywhere. Let’s take some time to cool down. ”
