Accepts you for who you are and doesn’t try to change you. Shows genuine interest in you and what you have to say. Encourages and supports you in your goals.
Interrupt you frequently when you’re talking. Seem more interested in their phone, computer, or TV than what you have to say. Don’t respond to what you say at all, such as by changing the subject after you finish talking.
For example, if the person you’re trying to befriend gives short answers and doesn’t seem to want to share anything personal with you after getting to know you, it may be hard to develop a bond with them.
Wanting a male perspective on various subjects, such as relationships, fashion, etc. Thinking having a gay male friend will make them appear “fashionable. ” Feeling that a gay male friend will value you more than a female friend or straight male friend.
Don’t limit yourself to men who you think are gay. Try to make friends with any of your male or female acquaintances that you think might make a good friend for you. For example, if there’s another girl at work who shares your love of running, then ask if she’d like to meet up for a run over the weekend. Or, if there’s a guy who is obsessed with the same TV show as you, see if they want to watch the season finale together.
Volunteering for an organization you believe in, such as a local animal shelter or food bank. Participating in a special interest group or club, such as a knitting circle, acapella group, or cycling club. Interacting with people you encounter in your daily routine, such as while walking your dog, visiting the library, or shopping for clothes.
For example, if you follow someone on Instagram and you’ve had some great interactions with them, you might send them a message to see if they’d like to hang out. Try saying something like, “Hey! I noticed you are really into gardening. Me too! Would you like to meet up and discuss plants over coffee sometime?” Or, if you’re friends with someone on Facebook because you have a mutual friend, you might ask them to meet up. You could say, “Hey Janet! I really enjoyed talking with you at Charlie’s wedding. Would you like to go for a hike with me next weekend?”
Favorite TV shows, movies, books, and video games. Hobbies and other special interests. Recent vacations or new experiences.
Making neutral statements, such as “Yes,” “Go on,” and “I see. ” Asking questions to encourage them to keep talking, such as “What happened next?” and “How did that make you feel?” Rephrasing what the person says to clarify, such as by saying, “It sounds like you were really frustrated!”
Being on time when you make plans with them. Asking how they are doing whenever you see them or talk with them. Offering to help them if they are struggling with something.
For example, don’t assume that because a man is gay, he knows all about fashion. This is a stereotype of gay men that is untrue. Or, if you need relationship advice, don’t assume that a gay male friend is more likely to give you good advice than a female friend or straight male friend.
