Try to catch the girl’s eyes. Glance at her when she’s looking in your direction and wait for her to look back. Hold her gaze for about 4 seconds and then look away. Four seconds is long enough to establish a connection. Any shorter may be mistaken for accidental eye contact, and any longer may make things feel awkward.
Parties and large social gatherings are generally the easiest time to flirt. People are often more relaxed and uninhibited, making them more receptive to flirtation. If you happen to see this girl at a social event, that would be a good time to try and flirt. Social events at bars and other places that serve alcohol are a particularly good place to flirt. Stick to areas, like around the counter, that are thought of as public zones, where it’s appropriate to strike up conversation with someone you don’t know well. Learning places, like schools or colleges, are also decent places to flirt. If you see this girl during class, you can try to flirt with her before or after a lesson begins. It can be easy to flirt during class as conversation can be somewhat easy. As you’re both enrolled in the same course, you have something in common to discuss right away. If you want to flirt at your office, be careful. Make sure you review your company’s policy on work relationships. You should also stick to flirting in areas like the break room or cafeteria, where people are not busy doing their jobs. You can also engage in quick flirting during things like morning greetings or in the minutes before a meeting begins.
Try to be more lively and animated in conversation, moving your hands as you speak. This can convey that you’re invested in the other person and engaged in the conversation. You should also make small, subtle movements to keep the girl’s focus on you. Shift your hands slightly at the end of each sentence. Use open palm hand movements to kind of project what you’re saying on the girl. If you’re trying to make a point, use a downward hand movement, like placing your hand on the table, to better convey that point. Watch the girl’s hand movements as well. If she seems animated and lively, and is using a lot of gestures, she’s probably engaged in talking to you. If she seems stiff or bored, you may want to switch up the conversation topic. This is a sign she’s not interested.
Make small, brief nods as the girl is speaking. This shows you’re listening and encourages her to keep the flow of conversation moving. Quick, double nods are best. Single nods or triple nods can come off as confusion or frustration, resulting in the conversation halting.
Try to position your body in the same way she does. Move your arms and legs in a similar manner. If she crosses her legs, for example, you can cross your legs as well. Do not take it too far, however. Mimicking body language exactly can come off as mockery. Try to follow her body language to a degree, but do not imitate her every movement as it’s happening.
Try to incorporate variation in pitch. Monotone can come off as disinterest. When giving brief, one word answers, like “Yeah” or “Okay”, try to deliver them with enthusiasm. This can show you’re engaged with the person and want to continue the conversation. You can use a questioning tone at the end of some sentences, where you emphasize the last syllables. This can be particularly helpful when striking up a conversation, as it invites the girl to share her opinion. There’s a big difference between, “Crazy test yesterday” and “Crazy test yesterday, huh?” The latter encourages the girl to share her opinion, giving you an in for conversation.
The arm is generally the safest place to touch, as this is an area that’s not too intimate. A brief touch on the girl’s arm in conversation can increase feelings of intimacy. You can also try a light touch on the hand. Make sure you pay attention to how a girl is acting around you before trying touching. If she’s mimicking your body language, turned towards you, and engaged in conversation, she’s probably interested. A light touch is okay. If she seems distant, however, touching can easily feel alienating. You should also keep in mind touching may not be appropriate in all situations. Touching is probably safest at a social gathering, like a party. Touching at work or school could come off as inappropriate, especially if your office or school has rules against touching and flirtation in certain situations.
