Why am I here? – Consider your current purpose in life, and the variables that contributed to you being where you are right now. What kind of choices could you make or steer clear from in the future? Create a list of 20-50 things that make you happy. What is the best thing that has ever happened to me? What are five things I like about me? List three traits or characteristics others would use to describe you. My dream is… After you have answered all of the above, tie it all together. How can you realign your current purpose with meeting your dreams? How can you surround yourself with more things that make you happy? How can you make others see the positive traits or abilities that you see in yourself?
For example, sometimes we have goals and aspirations in life that do not fit with our parents’ or families’ goals. We might let go of our own passions to please others. Doing so might bring us pleasure for a short time, but eventually we become unhappy because we are not satisfying our core passions. Consider another example: Maybe you once had a passion for helping others before college. When you graduated and entered the rat race, you lost touch with that passion in favor of making money and getting the bills paid.
Look at that list of items that make you happy. Consider ways you can be proactive and incorporate some of these things or activities into your daily life. This way, whenever you get the chance, you are engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace of mind. For example, if you enjoy nature, you might schedule daily walks in the morning or the evening with either your dog, a partner or a friend.
Pause throughout your day and strive to be present-focused. Take several deep, cleansing breaths. Think about your environment and physical sensations. What do you see, smell, or hear? What are you feeling in your body? Continue to breathe deeply as you orient yourself to what’s happening in this very moment. [5] X Research source
Remember the first step in meaningful change is awareness of where your problems lie. [7] X Research source Just being real with yourself and shining a light on your habits is incredibly instrumental towards fixing these issues. To build confidence about your self-improvement project, start small. Pick one area at a time in which you would like to improve. Work exclusively in this area until you have seen marked improvement, and then move to a new area. You may find that the positive changes you make in one area of life trickle down into other areas without you even trying. [8] X Research source
People who are chronically unhappy often share similar habits. These include the following:[10] X Research source Playing the victim Using alcohol, drugs, food, sex or other addictive behaviors to cope Feeling powerless to change their emotional state Neglecting health Having rocky relationships
Self-defeating talk: “I can’t…” or “I’m not good enough…” Ruminating negatively about the past: Rewinding or playing back horrible or stressful events that occurred previously in your life. Assuming the worst: Presuming the negative in all situations, or looking at life with a “glass half empty” attitude Comparing yourself critically to others: Viewing others as more attractive, wealthier, or having better lives Playing the victim: Choosing to look at yourself as weak or incapable of dealing with challenging people or situations Struggling to forgive yourself: Wallowing in guilt over past mistakes Blaming: Attributing your misfortunes to others Fearing failure or mistakes: Setting unreasonably high standards and being perfectionistic
If you are an adult, then you must take responsibility for your role in any toxic relationships. Despite what you believe, you alone have the power to break free. So, if you chose to remain in such a relationship, you must acknowledge that are doing so at the sacrifice of your own well-being.
Eat a balanced diet Get regular exercise and sleep Maintain a healthy weight Stop smoking Limit alcohol consumption Go to the doctor for regular check-ups
Congratulate yourself on every success (no matter how small). Be your own biggest fan. Instead of saying “I can’t” aim to say “I can” more. Be patient. You create a self-fulfilling prophecy when you expect results in an unrealistic time-frame. Give your life time to take shape. Focus on the positive changes you are making daily.
Listen for negative or unhelpful thoughts by monitoring your self-talk. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, alter your thoughts into more realistic or helpful self-statements. For example, “I screwed up the interview! I will never get a job!” can be reframed into “I won’t know how I did on the interview until several days. I may have performed better than I think; I’ll have to be patient and see. "
Start a gratitude journal. [16] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source This can be a traditional journal or in a cellphone app. Make a commitment to writing about what you are thankful for several times each week. These may include things you thought would go wrong but didn’t in your day, things you can’t imagine living without, or people who have been helpful in your life.
Staying in touch with your state of mind is integral to emotional health. Make the effort to engage in stress-reducing activities on a regular basis. These activities might be reading a novel, playing with your pet, meditating, doing yoga, or painting.
