Another change you may notice is that suddenly your man has an insatiable sexual appetite. This may mean that his sex drive has become more intense because he’s sleeping with another lady. See what he’s like in bed. Is he suddenly much more adventurous than before? Has he always stuck to the same routine and is he now trying to spice things up every time you get into bed? He may be getting his moves from another woman. You should also see if he’s suddenly shy with his body around you and doesn’t want you to see him with his shirt off. If he only wants to have sex in the dark, then it may be because he does not feel right about sharing his body with two women.
But then again, he could just be being nicer because you are going through a rough patch and he is trying to make it up to you. If he suddenly brings you flowers, chocolate, and sweet cards, he could just be trying to be bringing back that loving feeling. Alternatively, he may be compensating for cheating.
But again, maybe he’s just trying to be nice suddenly, or wants something else from you as a result. Still, when he completely changes his household habits, you should be on the alert.
Also, look out if he storms home and looks upset, and then tries to blame it on work or something that never made him upset before. If you see his mood change after he takes a “quick phone call” or reads a text, then another woman may be the reason.
If he suddenly put a password on his phone but never cared for privacy before, then something may be up. If he steps out to take a phone call and comes back looking either upset, excited, or apologetic, you may start to wonder who’s on the other line. If you walk in when he’s on the phone and he abruptly ends the conversation, then he may be talking to another woman. If he used to be diligent about answering his phone, and now you can go hours without getting in touch with him, then he may be spending that time with another woman. If he shuts off his phone for hours and he never used to do that, it is not a good sign.
If you see him on the computer, and his face suddenly lights up, as if he’s talking to a crush, then it may mean he’s cheating. If he does not go on the computer when you are in the room, then he may not want you to see what is on the screen.
Of course, he could genuinely have picked up a love for a new sport, or he may really have to stay late at work every night, but if he’s never done either of these things before and has shown several other suspicious signs, then it may mean that he’s cheating.
If he used to compliment you all the time, but never compliments you anymore, it may be because he is thinking of someone else. If he wasn’t much of a sweet talker before, but is always suddenly complementing you, he may be doing it to compensate for being with someone else. If he just sounds different, using words you’ve never heard before, laughing in a new way, or just phrasing his words differently, he may have picked this up from another lady.
You should also check to see if he’s starting to shower more often, especially if he does it right when he comes home. This may be because he wants to wash another lady’s scent off of him as soon as possible.
Of course, you should consider other factors: maybe he is having a mid-life crisis and wants to look good again, or maybe he just became motivated to care more about his body. You should also look out to see if he is suddenly obsessed with his diet. This could also indicate that he is paying a lot of attention to his body for another woman.
Note the amount of eye contact he gives you. If he used to always look into your eyes when you spoke but now always looks away, he may be doing it out of guilt. Note a lack of affection. If he used to kiss you, hug you, put his arm around you, and let you know how much he cared through his touches but never touches you any more, then something may be up. See if he turns away from you when you are talking. If he crosses his arms, turns away from you, and does not face you with his body, then he may be retreating because he is uncomfortable. Notice if he shows you affection when you are alone, but not when you go out. If he is all over you when you are home but he is distant the second you step out the door, it may be because he is afraid his mistress will catch him with another woman.
His phone. If he’s savvy, you won’t be able to find evidence of him cheating on your phone. But if he’s not, you can look for an exchange with a woman you’ve never heard of. He may even not have plugged his mistress’ number in his phone – look for texts and calls to unidentified numbers. Search his computer. If you really want to know if he is cheating, check out his email or Facebook messages. You can wait for him to step away from his computer when he is logged into email. If he also has started meticulously deleting his emails, that can be a sign that he is hiding something from you. Search through his stuff. Go through his suitcase, desk, wallet, or even the pockets of his pants for clues. Check his bank statements. Look out for any time he has spent large sums of money at a restaurant you have never heard of. Check out the dates and think about where he said he was; if he said he was working late one night but spent a lot of money on a fancy dinner right then, which is a reason to worry.
Don’t follow him in your own car. Borrow a friend’s car so he does not notice that you are behind him. Keep a safe distance. Whether you are on foot or in a vehicle, don’t get too close, or he’ll spot you. Check in on him when he is not expecting it. If he says he’s working overtime or watching the game at a friend’s house, “drop in” unexpectedly and see if he’s really there. Just make sure you have a good excuse for why you just showed up.
Ask him when he’s not expecting it. As long as you are in a private place, you can have the conversation. Don’t tell him you want to have a big talk, or he may know exactly what you have in mind and will already be prepared to make excuses. Tell him that you want the truth. Remind him that he is not doing you any favors by being dishonest. Show him that he is really hurting you. Let him see how upset the idea of him being unfaithful makes you.
