Stop waiting for other people to do the work for you. Call people up and ask if you can hang out with them, or organize an event yourself. Don’t worry about seeming desperate or needy. Focus on you and your goal. If it all works out in the end, then who cares? Try to hang out in such a way that no one feels you are clinging to them in desperation or friend-poverty. If there is a group, make eye contact with everyone, and not directing your speech singularly.
One of the easiest ways to meet people is through friends you already have. Tag along to a party or social event and get your friend to make the introductions. Meet people through hobbies or classes. Friends are generally people that you share a common interest with, so the people you meet through hobbies or classes are excellent potential friend material. Meet people through work. You might have a work colleague who you feel a connection with, but you’ve never hung out socially. Now is the time. Meet people online. Sometimes there’s a stigma attached to meeting people online, but it can be a genuinely great way to meet people. Blogging, social networking and posting on online forums are all perfectly viable ways of socializing. Avoid going to places that have one focus. This means that you shouldn’t try to get a chance at cinemas and theaters, since there the main focus is on the screen and you won’t meet too many people there except by chance. Public places like tea and coffee shops, parks and bars help a lot in socializing. However, there are other places with a friendly environment that you shouldn’t hesitate to try out.
Even if you meet someone who looks or seems like someone you’d have nothing in common with, talk to them and give them a chance. They might turn out to be your truest friend! You’re not going to know a true friend at first sight - you’ll have to get to know them first - so consider every possibility!
If you invite someone to hang out, don’t be upset if they can’t make it. Chances are they have a genuine excuse, it’s not because they don’t like you. Give it a week or two, then ask again. Sometimes it just won’t work out with someone and that’s okay. Consider it a practice run for when you meet the real deal.
Be realistic about how much time it’ll take to really get to know someone. Sure, you might hit it off and feel like you’ve known someone for ten years rather than ten minutes, but usually it’ll take much longer, depending on how often you hang out. [5] X Expert Source Chloe Carmichael, PhDLicensed Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 21 September 2021. In the right situations, you can make new friends very quickly - like when you start college, move to a new city, or join a sports teams.
Try making a general comment or asking a question about something generic, just to break the ice. For example, “Great party, huh?” or “How do you know John?” Try to listen more than you talk. Show that you’re interested in what they have to say. Even if you find their speech boring, try to appear concentrated in order to not hurt the other’s feelings. Find out about their interests and hobbies. If you can find something you have in common, the conversation will flow more freely.
Get their phone number or email address, or ask if they’re on Facebook. It doesn’t matter as long as you have a way of reaching out to them. Be sure to give them your contact details too. They might just invite you to do something fun.
You don’t need to invite them to do anything special, just ask them if they’d like to go for a drink or hang out at the beach. Even if they can’t make it, they’ll probably be flattered you asked. Try again in a week or so. Let them have their space otherwise they will think you are too clingy.
Accept every invitation that’s thrown your way, even if it’s to see a movie you’re not interested in or to play a sport you don’t like. Once you’re there, you will be glad that you made the effort. You don’t want to get a reputation as the person who never shows up for anything. That’s a surefire way to never get invited anywhere. If you really can’t come, explain your reasons to the other person funnily and in such a way that they realize you aren’t refusing to your own option but on a real excuse.
Once you’ve made the initial steps and established a routine of hanging out, just repeat, repeat, repeat. To become a true friend with someone, you need to hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level.
