One of the most important reasons to leave a toxic relationship is because you deserve better. In addition, the relationship may be preventing you from growing, isolating you from others, or becoming borderline or full-on abusive.
You can rehearse in front of a mirror or with a friend. Rehearsing can help you feel more confident when you speak, but keep in mind the conversation may go differently than you rehearsed.
You might say, “Hey, I need to talk to you about something important. Do you have time to get together?”
If this is an abusive relationship, have the talk by phone or through video call for your safety.
You might say something like, “I don’t think we’re good together. We breakup and makeup all the time and I have started to alienate other people who are close to me. I want to end it. ” Another option is to say something like, “Our relationship is not working for me. I’ve thought it through, and I want to end it. "
If they try to convince you not to end it or some other tactic, simply restate your decision. Be as clear and concise as possible. If they become angry or argumentative, say “I didn’t come here to argue. I’m leaving. Please don’t follow me. ”
For example, if they drop by your home or call you over the next few days, remind them of your limits. Say something like, “I told you I don’t want to see you anymore. Please do not come to my house or try to contact me again. ”
If you frequent some of the same places, change your routine for a while so that they get the message.
The best way to minimize any further damage is to cut ties completely. Don’t answer any calls, texts, emails, or other requests for contact.
For instance, if you get a text from the person, call your friend right away. They can “talk you down” from responding or keep you distracted.
A restraining order limits the person from contacting you or coming within a certain distance of your home and other social environments like work or school.
Confide in a close friend or family member. Tell them how you are feeling and seek comfort. If you have specific requests about how they can support you, let them know.
You might also make new friends by joining a club or organization or participating in a support group. Remember that it is okay to give yourself some time to heal. Don’t jump right back into dating until you feel ready.
Treat yourself to healthy, nutritious meals. Do soothing exercises like yoga or expressive dance. Take warm baths with scented oils or bubbles. Or take long walks in nature. You might also heal and care for yourself by writing your thoughts and feelings about the experience in a journal. Taking a trip can also be a great way to take care of yourself. It will give you a change of scenery and routine. Consider visiting a friend who lives in a different city.
Ask your family doctor to recommend a professional therapist in your area.
