Remember that an insult is opinion, not fact and it can only hurt you if you believe it. If you don’t see what the person said as part of your self-view, then it will be easier for you to let it go. For example, if someone calls you unattractive or unintelligent, you can easily reject this if you don’t see yourself that way. After feeling the pain the insult brings about, try to let it go. Put it into context as a barb that can sting for a minute but ultimately holds no weight.
Look for the emotion behind the insult. The person who made the comment may be sad, angry, or upset in some other way. Some people have trouble expressing emotions so they take out their problems on other people. Use this information to help yourself take the insult less personally. It may have hurt your feelings, but it was just a disguise for the person’s real feelings.
For example, maybe you’ve been feeling insecure about your intelligence ever since starting a difficult new class. Someone calling you “silly” or “dumb” may cause you to feel more deeply insulted than the person intended. The solution is to work on the feelings of inadequacy that are leading to the tender, sensitive spot. When you feel more confident about your intelligence you’ll be able to let such comments roll off of your back.
You have every right to ignore the insult. Just pretend like it wasn’t said, if that seems like the best solution. Or try lifting your chin, making eye contact and telling the person “you’re wrong; that’s not true. "
Have a face to face confrontation. Tell the person that you expect him or her to stop insulting you. Sometimes just calling the person out will put a stop to the behavior. Seek outside help. If you feel you’re being bullied, a one-on-one confrontation may not help. Talk to your teacher, principal, supervisor, or someone else who can help you deal with the situation quickly.
Take a moment to let the first wave of emotion wash over you. Let yourself feel it, then wait for it to subside. Do not react until that initial flush of defensiveness is gone. It may help to actually count to ten before you say anything. If you’re alone, you can count out loud. If you’re with someone else, count silently. Ten seconds is usually enough time to clear your head.
Take the context of the comment into account. Did the person who said it mean well? Was it delivered by a person you respect in a position to critique you, like your teacher, boss or parents? Or was the person trying to hurt you? Confusing criticism with insult commonly leads to overreaction. Being able to separate the two will help you develop a thicker skin at school, work and in other places where valid criticism can be given.
It’s also possible that the critique is dead wrong. Still, there’s no need to overreact. It’s just one person’s opinion, after all. Speaking of opinions, it might help to get a second one. This can help you establish whether you actually have room for improvement.
If it seems impossible to put it into perspective, just tell yourself to wait it out until tomorrow. The pain really will fade after a day or two. In the meantime, distract yourself. Spend time with a friend, watch a good movie or exercise the thoughts away.
For example, if you received a critical review of a report you wrote, consider revising the report with the critique in mind. Without dwelling on the criticism, keep it in mind and resolve to do better next time.
Do you know your strengths? Try making a list of everything you admire about yourself. Having a firm grasp on what you’re good at will bolster you when you’re feeling down. Get good at what you do. Spend time practicing, learning and always working to get better. That way you’ll have a core knowledge that you’re good at what you do. A criticism or insult won’t have as much power to bring you down.
Being a perfectionist may seem like a good thing, but perfectionists tend to have thinner skin than those who allow themselves to fail sometimes. Perfectionists are also highly critical of themselves. [12] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source Low self-esteem is often brought on by self-criticism, so be compassionate towards yourself. To let go of perfectionist tendencies, challenge yourself to learn something new. Try a new skill, sport, language, or anything else that interests you. Starting from scratch is humbling. It will help you realize that perfection is impossible. It’s the journey that counts.
Pay attention to how you feel after hanging out with certain people. Do you feel refreshed and happy? Or do you feel worse about yourself? When you’re with people who accept you for you are, you don’t have to worry about being too sensitive. After building trust, you’ll learn that your true friends will love you even when you feel insecure.
Eat healthy and exercise. You’ve heard it a million times, but it helps. Make sure you’re eating a well-rounded diet and exercising at least 30 minutes each day. Get plenty of sleep. Being tired heightens emotions, leaving you more prone to taking things the wrong way. Include meditation or yoga in you daily routine. These activities can help you to be more accepting of yourself.
Talk therapy can be very effective when it comes to building self confidence and a thicker skin. You may also come to accept that it’s OK to be sensitive. If chronic depression or another disorder is troubling you, medication can also help. You’ll need to make an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss the best options for your situation.
