Admitting a mistake is different from beating yourself up about it. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s important to forgive yourself, even if the other person doesn’t.
It can be tempting sometimes to stay and fight, but disengaging is its own form of power. You are standing up for yourself and telling the person that you refuse to be bullied. Disengaging might be avoiding them when it’s acceptable to do so, like if you’re coworkers but you aren’t collaborating on anything. It might also be removing the person from your social media feeds so that you aren’t tempted to interact with them.
Some people will dislike you because they envy you. Don’t let people bring you down because of your successes.
If you know why the person dislikes you, ask yourself if it’s really important that they like you. Does it really matter what they think? Do they dislike a lot of people? You may not be “special” in that case. You can also try reframing the criticism to make it positive. If someone says you’re always late or always asking people for favors, try to think of ways you could improve in those areas. Alternatively, if you think the person is wrong, try to think of all the times you’re not late and the times you do favors for other people.
Try asking in a way that isn’t confrontational. Instead of saying “what’s your problem?” you can say “did I do something to make you dislike me?”
Avoid snapping at them or returning the criticism. You can probably think of things that you dislike about them as well, but being mean to them won’t resolve the situation. Criticizing the person will only cause the conflict to get more intense. Practice deep breathing while they are talking to keep yourself from getting upset and firing back. It’s okay to take a temporary time out and come back to the person once you have cooled off, as well.
You can say “I understand that there’s something about me you don’t like. I’m genuinely interested to hear what that is and see if we can move past this issue together. "
Using “I statements” is a good way to communicate without making the person feel like they are being attacked. You can say “I feel hurt that you don’t like me and I’d like to know what I can do to make things better between us. "
If the person who dislikes you is a former friend, they may already know a lot that could hurt you. If you think they are going to share something that could make you look bad, you can always share the information first, if you would rather have control of how it comes out.
Watch out for people who will manipulate your kindness, however. Some people feed off of using people who are not willing to protect themselves against aggressive or manipulative behavior. If they accept your kindness and then return it with selfishness or rudeness, it may be best to avoid them rather than try to win them over. [16] X Research source
